Lima. Peru

The Captain and admiral were off to a very mixed start, the plane had been delayed 2 hours due to hitting a bird (see “Santiago” Captains log) however the pilot had gone ‘el rápido y furioso’ and was able to turn this delay into 1 hour by violently speeding. The Captain was chilling on the plane, documenting the Santiago adventure. This was, right until the Admiral made a comment that boggled the Captain, She Said ” Hey I’m going to Catch some Z’s”. The captain had no idea what exactly that meant, he spent 15 minutes searching for these z’s until he asked “what exactly are Z’s?” She responded it means sleep… The Captain on his 32 years had never heard any normal person use such a term. He started to suspect the altitude had started to get to her. Things had begun to get weird.

Disembarking into lima was interesting, it seemed like the Captain and Admiral were celebrities, walking into arrivals area to balloons, photographers and screaming people. Shortly after realising that this was for families returning home, however the Captain stop thought he should wave at his adoring fans. They did not wave back, rather looking confused and startled as he walked past them. Finding a reliable driver was another challenge. All Taxi companies with Inflated prices advised them not to take a random taxi, saying things that involved the words ‘kidnapped, robbed” etc. A Hero that risked getting arrested, stormed into the arrivals area (an area only for authorised Taxi companies) and to save $5, they decided to go with him.

The hero was a nice family man named Carlos and despite his name knew where his car was. The journey in involved Car’not’los explaining the areas of Lima, and how dangerous the area of Downtown Lima was, coincidentally this was the area that the Captain and Admiral had decided to stay. He explained, despite this being the old part of town it was no place to stay once security left the area and it got dark, stating everyone is on drugs, there are people urinating everywhere and robbery is common practice.

He said the tourist district was an area called ‘Miraflores’ and there it was safe and hustling and bustling all night. When we asked for tips for traveling Lima, his recommendation was for us to change our accommodation. It was 8pm and arriving in Downtown Lima it was evident in what exactly he had meant. The City looked rough, quiet, narrow dark streets and shady characters lurking. There was no tourist in sight. The Cherry on top, was the barred up cage before we entered the lobby of the hotel, free with a man guarding the lobby.

They asked the receptionist if it was safe, she responded safe enough and parted some wisdom explaining that “if you go out for two pisco sours, just take enough money for two pisco sours” – she also did not seem confident in the safety in the neighbourhood. Despite thoughts of changing hotel and moving to Miraflores, the Captain and Admiral decided to stay.

Dropping off the bags and check-in was an easy process.  The clock was inching towards nine pm, they quickly headed to the shop closeby to buy a Sim card. The walking strip was crowded, however there was no tourist anywhere to be seen. The Captain felt nervous, he maintained a hand on his pockets at all times. Finding a shop, purchasing the simcard was complicated process, with fingerprint scans, heaps of documentation complicated enough for 4 different people to be involved in printing, verifying and the payment process. They then had to go to another shop to recharge.

The Lima adventure was going to be short one, so despite the 4.30 am bus pick up the next day, and the time being 9.30pm they decided to venture down to Barranco the Bar District, which was 30 minutes away and home to some of the best breweries and bars in the region. It was time to GRAB IT.

Getting out of the uber the first thing they noticed was the number of people walking around, there was a huge buzz about it already. A couple passed them with a bottle of Smirnoff containing straight vodka and just took a few sips and continued walking. There was a central area with a university live battle of the bands happening. The vibe was on, they had to catch up. First up they went to a super hipster but famous bar – Barra 55. This place resembled something straight out of Melbourne or Brunswick, quaint, small, hipster decor and to top it off they have weekly international bartenders from different countries and they adjust the drinks and food menu based on them. This week it was mexico. Tequilla anyone?

A few strong cocktails in and things started to get hazy, we left Barra 55 and went to another famous destination, a microbrewery – Barranco Beer Company. Instead of going for dinner they made a huge ‘missed steak’ and decided to stay there, having some bar snacks for dinner and partying till 2am. They reached home and set the dreaded alarm for 4am. It be was going to be a long day.

At 4.30am the pick up vessel was waiting downstairs. They rushed and hungover in a zombie like state, got ready and departed. The adventures today were  to explore the cities of  Paracas and Huacachina.

Paracas – is known as the poor man’s Galapagos Island. It is a small Island off the coast of Peru and is home to hundreds of species of birds, including penguins, and Sea Lions. Huacachina – is a desert Oasis located in the driest desert in the world, the Atacama desert. Off they went and as the driver got stuck in early morning traffic, he proceeded to yell at people on the streets and have a bit of a hissy fit. Typical 4am behaviour. When they did escape the traffic death the driver started pelting down at high speeds.

The bus picked up several more hombres filling it right up and  It was becoming apparent that the Captain and Admiral had not dressed appropriately,  their shorts and teeshirt attire was heavily contrasted with down jackets and much warmer clothing.

They set off, and three and half hours later they reached Paracas.  Here they were asked to change transportation methods and board a boat that was to take them into the Pacific Ocean. The Captain felt at home. As they started sailing the drop in temperature became very apparent.

Shivering prefusely and holding eachother tight in order to avoid catching hypothermia, the 30 minute boat ride came to a halt as it reached the first landmark. The Candelabra line formation. This was an ancient mysterious and deliberate formation on the side of a mountain very similar to the Nazca lines, and much like the Nazca lines hosting an unknown origin. Despite several interjections of the word “Aliens…” the Captain was shushed by the Admiral.

With just enough time to warm up as the boat slowed, they were off again speeding deeper into the Pacific passing hundreds if not thousands of sweeping Albatrosses in the air, sailing towards a formation of rocks on the horizon. From a distance the birds became evident, a variety of species, all unique. As we approached the land mass, what seemed like rocks was actually formations of birds including pelicans, albatrosses and penguins! Thousands of them covering the land. They navigated around the rocks and saw many more species as well as sea lions. Interesting fact: one Sea Lion male has up to 6 sea lion females that surround them. The boat sailed past several male sea lions with their harems.

They then saw crabs, abalone and planktons that feed the enormous population of sea life. The ‘ circle of life’ from the (sea) lion king played in the Captain’s mind.

The hypothermic conditions only  got worse as they finished up and headed back to shore shivering. During a quick break they ate tacu tacu at an awesome vegeterian place, but had to scoff it down in 9 minutes as the bus was ready to leave, they ate the rest on the bus. The next destination was an hour away and it was haucachina, a tiny oasis in the driest desert in the world – The Atacama Desert.

As the bus started to get closer to haucachina, the landscape transformed, the lush greenery that they saw in Paracas was now looking like mountains and the desert. The temperature also started to change. The Captain noticing it had gone from 12 degrees to 29 degrees in a matter of 50 minutes driving. All of our short and tee decisions started to make a lot of sense. Not long after, the greenery had vanished and the only thing that could be seen all around was sand. It felt like we had been transported to the Middle East

We finally approached our destination and it could be seen for miles. A little lake and some trees, standing out in the landscape like an olive in the middle of hommus dip. The bus took us right to the heart of this tiny desert oasis to the Wild Rover Hostel. This was to be the meeting spot. As a surprise our tour guide Claudia gifted us a free drink inside the hostel.

Unknowingly to claim a free drink the Captain and Admiral headed inside the Hostel, to find a club like vibe inside. There was people playing beer pong, a DJ, as well as a complete pool party going on. They even had a bar side tattoo artist, inking people up for 20 USD. The place closely resembled an Ibiza pool hotel rather than a hostel in the desert. Sinking down the drink and unfortunately not cashing in on the inking bargain, they went off to do the activities for the day.

Off they went to hike up a sand dune, instantly regretting the choice of strong cocktails, struggling as they walked up the 70 degree sand mountain.

Over the horizon awaited something out of Mad Max  – about 60 angry looking dune buggies. Allocated into groups they jumped into a buggy with 6 other hombres and were greeted by the driver.  Despite limited skilled in Spanish, they gathered  that it was his first solo ride. Another driver also told them that their driver looks normal but is ‘un poco loco!’ It was more evident when we started  that he was in it to impress, so much so that in the first 10 minutes the dune buggy carked it and  broke down. We were stuck in the desert far from the base camp with only sand dunes around. It took several minutes for help to arrive, with every other buggy ignoring our pleas for help. The heat must have been getting to him as the captain’s thoughts reverted to resorting to cannibalism, just as the mechanic arrived. Non Gasolina.

Our newly appointed driver was not having a good shift and to make up for lost dune’age time he really put the pedal to then metal and went loco. Sand duning for those that don’t know is like an intense rollercoaster without any tracks. You are thrown around as the buggy jumps over mounds of sand, accelerating at 80 km per hour.

After just enough time for the Captain to feel his food coming up they stopped, right in the middle of nowhere. Here they were handed a snowboard like board and taught how to go down a mountain. The Captain volunteered to go first. Laying on his belly the captain zoomed off down a dune.

It was exhilarating, and the many flaws in OH&S were apparent – no helmet no gear and no rules. They did this several times and just when they finished up feeling satisfied, the driver asked them to get back in the buggy, and advised practice time was over. The reaction to which was a consistent ‘WTF!’ from the group. Here stood giants. Sand dunes reaching over 150 meters. Terrifying was an understatement. One by one with GREAT courage they lined up and headed down the beasts. The final boss was a 186 metre dune. If we thought the last few were terrifying this was his big and much more immature brother.

It came the Captain’s turn. He lined up his board. He went down. Fast. Near the bottom there was a small mound on his path that he noticed and was afraid of hitting. Just as he had reached peak acceleration his board gravitated towards it and as if in slow motion hit the mound of sand.

Everything slowed down as the captain tumbled, he heard distinct cracks and as he rolled he wondered what bones were breaking. He thought definitely his collar bone was gone. The thought then went to the admiral and what she would do with his broken body. At this point the tumbling halted. Much to his surprise and to the loud cries of the onlookers he lifted his head.  He felt extremely dizzy and the shock was immense. He stood and checked and there didn’t feel like anything was broken. He was bruised and sore everywhere and there was patches of blood where he had cut himself but it seemed that he had not broken anything at this point.

The admiral as well as a few others rushed to help him he was still in shock and possibly concussed but he thought he was ok. Terrified and extremely shaken, he wiped the blood and limped his way back to the dune with the admiral to watch the sunset in the desert. He felt like a broken hero after a lost battle, riding off with the Princess.

Despite medical advice from a trusty dentist, the captain desperately needed a drink, they headed back to the wild rover where the captain downed some painkillers and a beer – do not try this at home kids. The day had come to an end, they boarded the bus and headed back to Lima watching Mrs Doubtfire and having Popcorn on the way. Bruised battered and exhausted they completed an amazing and memorable day.

Waking up with the body pains amplified they started the day learning more about the history of the city, this included the stories of political corruption, terrorism and genocide. They finished the tour and finally got a real taste of the local food and something they had been anticipating since the start of their trip. Peruvian Ceviche. It did not disappoint. The lemony raw fish dish was just spectacular.

Bellies full of protein they took a bus ride, (missing a few stops) to finally reach  the popular and tourist district of Miraflores, which they explored, and found a Cat Park (Kennedy Park). This park was full of hundreds of stray cats and exploring humans patting and holding them. The Admiral was in paradise.

With great difficulty the Captain finally took the Admiral away from the cats and they  took a stroll alongside the sea in love park where they bought some overpriced but delecious crepes that took too long to make. The last of their Lima hours were spent  hunting for food. Hoping to have more local cuisine and with trusty Google in hand they found some very nice Peruvian Restaurants. The only thing they did not factor in was booking a space. After walking around for hours they finally got a seat at Panchita, one of the best Peruvian restaurants in town. Here we ate Tamales, Chicken stew and fried chicken, all of which was made from local ingredients and local dishes.

After a gorging gluttonous session the captain and admiral finally reached their room to find out clothes from 2 nights ago had not dried, setting up the bathroom into something that resembles a functional Meth Lab with fans and hangers of clothes everyehere. They slept, knowing that the time was 11.30 and that they had to be up at 1 am. They awoke to find that the clothes had yet to dry frazzled they sat their with hair dryers, till 2 am since they knew that they will not be able to wash and dry anything where they were off to next.

They boarded the flight and headed towards the Amazon Rainforest.