Las Vegas. USA

Days and weeks have passed from the last entry in this journal. My memory is starting to fade like the paint on a old desert shack.

The reasons for the faint recollection could be self induced. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas – except herpes that stuff stays with you for life. With that advise and Segway let’s start a filtered view of what was Las Vegas.

We boarded the Vegas bound bus with 2 minutes to spare. In LA we had been warned by locals that taking the bus was not the best of ideas. So here’s an Interesting fact.. in the States the only people that take interstate busses are Hobos and Drifters. Perfect crowd i would say. The bus was very ghetto a swell as being full. Since Wing commander and I arrived late we were separated, sitting with randoms. The Captain was sitting next to some random person that happened to be mega overweight and decided its best to sit with his legs spread and eat Dorrito’s. I was hoping I could use him as a pillow and let my saliva do the talking. The bus also had a distinct smell but more importantly it also had wifi 🙂

Wing commander had managed to catch the attention of his fellow traveller and had begun a deep philosophical discussion, they discussed poetry and the drifter life just as I closed my eyes for a nap.

Upon the horizon the sinister glow of the city could be seen. A aurora of lights, glowing with sin written all over the desert that we had been traveling. We got closer to the strip and the sheer size of Casinos and hotels baffled us. One of which was the Luxor, the hotel which was to give shelter to the wing commander and the captain and any other sea maidens that were to join us over the course of the next few days. The Luxor hotel is the enormous pyramid shaped hotel on the strip, complete with a sphinx up the front. Excited by the lights we put our bags in our oversized hotel room and headed for the strip. The Santa flu had not departed and I continued to suffer the constant chest pains, phlegm regurgitation and the coughing. The day was spent jumping from one casino to another, finding our bearings and navigating the strip. The bright lights began doing things to our heads, a hunger to gamble grew in our minds and hunger for food in our bellies. As we walked around we had been approached by performers, tour guides, bums the whole kit and caboodle. One person in particular interested us, we found them and went and spoke to them, not long after booked our tickets to visit a giant hole in the ground for the next day. Hungry now and not having eaten since we left L.A we searched these colossal structures for good food. Craving a nice meal we came across Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant. Wing commander and I looked at each other and with a nod we entered with grins on our faces. Dinner was to be Gordon Ramseys burgers and an epic Oreo thick-shake that the wing commander swears is one of the best he had ever had. As an addition to our celebrity count Katie from season 13 of hells kitchen was cooking our meals.

Full from our meals and dreading the 630am pick up for the Canyon tour we headed home and embraced sleep.

The blaring alarm woke us at 6 am and we scurried to make our Grand Canyon bus tour. The ticket salesman had promised us a nap on the bus and the excitement of this was peaking. We boarded and headed for our seats getting comfortable for our 6 hour journey. Instantly the bus host announced that there will be no sleeping! This guy felt like he had downed a bottle of vodka and a small bucket of cocaine. He started his commentary. A 6 hour documentary of the Grand Canyon and Hoover dam. We made a quick stop off at the Hoover dam and we marvelled by its entirety. The man made structure was humongous! After some photos and more Dam facts we continued or journey forward, reaching the canyon in the promised 6 hours.

When we were getting off the bus, the cocaine induced driver proposed that the more fit people in the group could hike 4 miles to the next pick up point, warning us that the altitude was high and breathing may be an issue, he also warned that if we did not reach the point in time the bus would have go leave without them. I consulted a worried wing commander.

We made the choice that no one else on our bus did. We are to hike the Grand Canyon. Despite my aching lungs from the non dying santa flu veering put under more stress from the lack of oxygen we started our journey. What followed was an sensational song of breath taking views. It was unimaginable. No photos can do it justice. It was so big that our depth perception suffered. Interesting fact: From one end to the other its 29 km (city to Springvale), It runs for 429 km (halfway to Sydney), It is 1.6 km deep (Flinders street station to Melbourne central). It was mind blowing and despite the snow and high altitude both wing commander and i were in shock. We completed the hike with 45 minutes to spare. Exhausted we hoped the bus ride back to Vegas would factor in a nap. Unfortunately as we were hiking the driver managed another bucket of coke and was ready to keep us on our toes. Sigh.

We got back to the hotel exhausted after a 14 hour day. Although we felt like death we could hear the bottle of Vodka we had bought calling to us. To relax a bit we started drinking. With some bits missing it was 12 am and we were on the strip and hopping bar to bar. There are recollections of me painting the sidewalk with food once again. Pre drinks are a very intense thing. Blinded by the flashing lights we some how managed to get into a club at Planet Hollywood called Koi and we ended up on the dance floor till we felt our legs were going to fall off. Limp we ended day 2 in Vegas crawling back to our hotel room.

Waking up hungover and swollen from the day before the Captain heard water calling and headed for the outdoor pool. I can personally tell you its a different feeling going swimming outdoors whilst its 2 degrees outside. Exhilarating. My wing commander stuck to base and rested, the night was our last and it happened to be a Saturday. The refreshing swim and spa session had my batteries recharged, the captain arrived back at the room with a brewskii. Soon we poured the vodka and the predrinking ritual started. Half a bottle down we ventured out on to the strip looking for the next venue.

Since this night was our last in Vegas we decided to go all out and headed to the Venetian hotel which housed the best club in Vegas – Tao. Despite our casual shoes we managed to charm our way in. This place was like no other club I have been to. Huge. Packed. Body to body. Full of the most beautiful people I have seen. Music pumping and drinks flowing like the Niagara Falls, we started dancing to the Vegas beat. Soon after we met some beautiful people visiting for a hens night. At this point I claim “what happens in Vegas stays there” We danced till 5 in the am and made some life long friends. The night was insane. Bidding farewell to our new courted friends we headed to our pyramid. We decided that we couldn’t physically check it at 12 pm since it was already 6am. We went to concierge and booked another night, they asked us to move to another room, at which point we felt disappointed since we were so exhausted. We expressed this and in the nature of US hospitality they upgraded our room for the night to a suite. Luggage moved we now had a even larger room for the night.

We KO’ed like a boxer hit in the head, waking up hung over and feeling like garbage. My wing commander had to try ‘in and out’ so as a first mission we stumbled to have the world famous burgers. They were everything we had heard. Juicy and delicious. We composed ourselves and headed to the old Vegas Strip.

Ladies and gentleman this is the actual Vegas. The neon lights the liveliness, even the smoking neon cowboy. This was what we had imagined Vegas to be! It was great. We walked up n down dancing to the random street performers and looking at all the stalls. The place was what we wanted from vegas. We visited the golden nugget and then went to a all you can eat buffet (the best in old Vegas) serving up 218 different dishes. To kill or hangover we ate like kings on a Victory feast. Trying everything. Our grazing session was complete it felt like we needed to be rolled out. We took a taxi and headed to the hotel. It was 9 and our flight was to depart at 11pm. Once again we rushed.

Leaving Las Vegas. The city where ‘nothing’ happens.