STOCKHOLM.

The City of Funny Swedes.

Captains Log Day 35 – 3/02/14 8:27
pm. Location: Dam, Amsterdam.

Once again we have arrived in Hell, or as My Co-Captain and I like to
call it – Dizzyland for our final day of this operation. We arrive here after
an epic Swedish adventure, that nor we or the Swedes will forget.

Let’s start this log entry by our catch phrase for when Co-Captain and
I arrived in Stockholm – “Haha funny Swedes” – You may wonder why
such a random catchphrase? Well you guys have obviously not been to Sweden. To
describe this further I would explain some of the things we witnessed once
leaving the airport, these include the crazy interior designs, the Airlock
doors and indoor transparent smoking areas. We knew the Swedes were going to
deliver and the more we found out the more the catch phrase rang true. Some
examples of this include the crazy frog and pig dance rituals, high school
graduation in which students go on a bus with thousands of beer cans and throw
beer at random citizens or the day that the government decided to flip the side
that people drive on. All in all and Jokes aside both my Co-Captain and I were
in for a culture shock and a learning experience. I think after the nights we
spent in Sweden we can kind of get why some of the best DJs are from this
country.

The first thing that strikes us, is the degree of calm that exists,
everybody is very soft spoken, calm and the silence is at times eerie. Visiting
a local burger chain not soon after landing called ‘Max Burger’, we sit besides
what look like a group of good friends. Whilst enjoying our Burgers I think 2
sentences were muttered between them, whilst my Co-Captain and I were carrying
on like dizzy pirates.

The next major thing we noticed after a quick currency conversion –
This place is uber expensive, with a one way train ride from the airport
costing almost $80. Fun Fact Sweden is home to one of the most expensive Big
Macs – retailing at $8.50

Once we had arrived and had our very quiet rendezvous with the locals
at Maxs’, we headed back to the hotel for a bit of a chill and to figure out
how much our meals had ended up costing. Hint it was > $20.

We were lucky enough to make some Swedish friends on our adventures in
Budapest (see Captains Log Day 20 – 20/01/14). These lovely friends of ours had
organized a nice night out on the town to show us the Swedish night life. What
proceeded was a night of mayhem and utter madness.

Catching up with our new local friends started off by visiting a statue
that we were instructed to rub, fearing that this could cost

us a limb or result in us catching herpes, we touched the bronze statue
which in fact was very warm. It was a heated statue, a memorial to a Swedish
actress (Haha funny Swedes) – the sight seeing for the day was done and in the
words of a Swedish friend, it was time to get “Shit-faced”.

We headed to a bar for pre-drinks, as my Co-Captain is an expert at
pre’s he applied his expertise, nekkminute we are all on the highway to
intoxication, with some clearly taking the lead. The conversation we had was
fantastic, discussing smelly fish, Disney music dance floors, vodka skulling in
bathrooms, the hidden swede crazy and of course the mind boggling “Dog
Story” (Details for readers when we catch up).

The bar eventually kicked us out, we were way too excited for a Sunday
night.

We first headed another bar club in Sweden – Berns. The Club was
housing a private function so we headed to the classy bar area, which at the
time looked like a mad men convention was going on. Yuppies dressed to impress.
Our crew didn’t really feel the vibe. Grabbing the Cocktail spoon as a
souvenir, the entourage was off. Our next destination a Swedish Club called
‘Opera bar’ (not to be confused by the Sydney one). On Route we experienced
some ice skating with shoes rather than skates and I was fortunate enough to
end up with a few cuts and bruises after being dared to jump into a pile of snow,
which actually was a pile of ice.

Sobering up from the laughing fits and because we needed to put on a
straight face, we arrived at the Club and straight away the shots started to
flow. Our friends were in for a treat the Co-Captain had the fire in his eyes.
Tequila, Vodka, Bacardi 151, Gin and Baileys. At this point we had split. The
events of the night are scattered and hazy with both myself and the Co-Captain
meeting back at the room at 5am with a heap of stories about what had occurred
in the last 4 hours. Checking our pockets he had one of our friends phones and
Wallet. With no way of contacting them we discovered in the morning that they
had assumed it was stolen, called the police, canceled all the cards and shut
down the phone number. Ouch! Extremely hung over we caught up again with one of
our friends – the other was in no state to come out and also had no cards or
phone (oops). All three of us in a state of struggle headed to the town hall,
then to Old Town to see King Carl’s Palace, parliament building and the
Narrowest Street in Sweden. Chatting about life along the way, it was a great
follow up to the events that occurred the night before. We ended up seeing some
of the beauty that Stockholm had to offer, besides the melting snow creating sludge,
that was occurring everywhere. Eating at an awesome Italian restaurant called –
’ Vapiano’ where everything is cooked in front of you. It was time to say
goodbye to our lovely Swedish host and head back to the room for our final
hours before the final flight to Amsterdam, where we decided to try Swedish
Snus (Google time), a form of tobacco that you suck on for up to 3 hours. I
think 2 minutes after putting it in our mouths the dizzyness kicked in with the
anxiety, shakes and vomit feeling swinging in within the hour. We battled this
and decided to spoil ourselves with 4 hour sleep before our flight to
Dizzyland.

STOCKHOLM: The City of Funny Swedes