Vilnius. Lithuania

Vilunius. Im sure most people reading this would have no idea where Vilunius is. In fact as my Co-Captain and I disembarked our vessel we both looked at each other going ‘What the hell are we doing here?’ – Vilunius is the capital of Lithuania – once again the question still stands ‘What the hell are we doing here?’

Upon leaving the place a heap of that was answered as both my Co-Captain and I proceeded to wage another war with the country, and paint the town. The color I chose was a tinge of vomit.

Before I get into the fun details. This city was beautiful. A small town, overflowing with history. Picturesque with modern culture seeping in, visible through the primo restaurants across old town and branded stores with the likes of Burberry and Hugo, lining up the streets. The churches and the castle were breathtaking.

A fun fact: By the end of the fourteenth century, Lithuania was the largest country in Europe. Also beards freeze in minus 15 degrees with icicles forming shortly after.

After our Sight seeing and fact finding adventure it was time to execute plan: Vilunius nightlife.

We started Pre-Drinks shortly after. Watching fat pizza we have our last drinks, just then there is a knock on the door. It’s someone who has the wrong room, as typical Aussie hospitality goes its only reasonable to invite this parched young chap into the room for vodka. He sits n we chat n drink.

It’s not long after that the bottle is gone and I’m feeling like Charlie Sheen. We farewell our new friend and leave the room to head to the club and I think after the 22nd or 23rd step my first projectile vomit makes a appearance. This continues with 7 more occurrences before I make it to the club. The canvas had begun to be stained.

 The club was epic with the most beautiful of girls. I don’t recall the next 5 hours but I know a heap of drinks were bought, a few more vomits and I later found out from my Co-Captain that I was on the podium with the pole and a heap of Lithuanians video taping (next youtube sensation?). I recall meeting am top UK Chick who was down for a holiday, a new friend had been made. I then called the DJ down for a drink and saying to him “In Australia we skull”, I skulled my drink, looked down and threw up on his feet. He was not impressed and walked away with a sad look on his face.

This proceeded by me wanting to sit in a private area and the occupant not too happy with that decision. A bouncer was called and as he pushed me I yelled “Do you know who I am!!! I’ll sue you! Don’t touch me!” I was then lifted by the collar and physically thrown out. I must admit this is a first for me. I thought it only happened in movies. Obviously not.

I left the club and got lost along the way. Very drunk, Exausted and cold I decided to have a nap at the park. I assure you it’s not the wisest idea at minus 16 degrees. I slept for about 2 hours and awoke when the sun was coming up. I had a series of missed calls n messages from the Co-Captain. Stumbling and Freezing, I waddled looking for our hotel. Falling over a few times before I found it. Upstairs I went n found my Co-Captain assuming I had died.

After a tough sleep , bruised palms and the worst hangover it was time to say goodbye to Lithuania.

VILUNIUS: The city of Mystery