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Santiago. Chile

by South America

Santiago. Chile

Santiago

The Scoot Fonda City of beady eyed reptilian birds

Captains Log Day 30 – 30/09/19 4:12 am. Latam – Flight 0801

After a few unexpected delays to our flight the Captain and Admiral reached the final city destination of their adventure getaway. Deja Vu, back to where it had started 30 days ago Santiago Chile.

The Captain felt a bit of emptiness, he really did not want to come to terms with the fact that their time abroad was coming to an end. A sense of sadness was coming over him and it was evident to the Admiral, who was doing her best to keep his spirits up.

After a silent and long taxi ride they reached their accommodation for this leg of the journey. Predicting that the sads would be overcoming them, they had booked a nice hotel to end the trip on. It turned out to be a real winner, approaching the driveway the lobby appeared to be grand. Large statues outside and inside, a bar area and a lovely staffed reception desk they looked forward to checking in and finishing the journey off in style.

The Captain and Admiral went to check in, the Staff advised them that there was a three day celebration taking place in the city this week for the National Day celebrations. He mentioned that throughout the city there would be huge Fairs and festivals going on. This was epic, they took down a few details and became super friendly with the staff, it was at that point that for the first time on this trip, the Captain dropped the “Oh we are on Honeymoon” line.

It was super effective. The Captain and Admiral were upgraded to the Honeymoon suite and assured by the front desk manager that he will be sending some treats for the couple.

It was a bit of luck shining through. The suite was fantastic. Complete with a lounge room, with a view of the city.

They would have loved to relax and spend time at the hotel, however with the delays and the check in tango taking some time, they had to rush and get ready. The Cadets they had met in Argentina at the Argentine experience where to catch up with them today for drinks and a big closing farewell ceremony as they were to fly out the day after.

Trying to figure out how to fix up their SIM cards they quickly got ready, with time and language not on their side they were unable to fix their phones and decided to fly blind and venture out to party. They headed towards the Pio Nono district. The consistent readers of these logs would recall that name from old adventures of Santiago. This indeed was the same place that the Captain and Admiral had gone last time they were in town and had a wild night smashing Pisco Sours and Terremotos.

After stopping for a sneaky Taco Bell dinner they met the cadets at a bar where they had started drinking already. On the table lay half a glass of scotch and when asked about it the Cadets said that was one standard drink. It was going to be a crazy night.

The Crew bar hopped from one place to another, having a compilation of Mojitos, Daiquiris, Piscos as well as a few Terremotos. Needless to say, things got pretty messy. At one bar they sat outside and a drug dealer came over to sell them Hash Cookies, he tried hard to sell them, at the end he even pointed out that the cookies had a smiley face on them! A great sales tactic, the crew were tempted but they refused, instead continuing to drink their body weight in spirits. The night ended abruptly just as the Pino ice cream of the second terremoto reached the bottom of the glass. They bid farewell to their new found friends and wished them a safe onward adventure. The clock was hitting 3am when the Captain and Admiral stumbled back to the hotel. They entered the room only to find a bottle of Champagne and Chocolates waiting for them on the lounge room table. It looks like the hotel had delivered the goods.

A very drunk Captain made a call and decided that before they slept they needed to finish off the champagne. This call was a very stupid call, they gagged and almost vomited several times before getting three-quarters through the bottle of doom. It was not long before both of them collapsed and passed out.

The last nights concoctions had not only boosted the Captain and Admiral to nirvana, it had also left a crater sized hole in their heads when they woke up. Feeling extremely rough. hungover and borderline ill they arose to a shimmer of light coming through the heavy curtains. When the Captain checked the time he imagined it would be close to 6am, he was gravely wrong, the time almost hitting 11 am. They rushed (as fast as they could) and got ready for breakfast, reaching downstairs just as they had started packing it all up.

After a big breakfast, the Captain went upstairs and was ready to pass out. However with some motivation from the Admiral he arose from the ashes and they headed to the Bicentennial Park where they were told they would see some Flamingos!

They started the long walk, estimating it would take 2 hours to walk there. Extremely hungover they slowly made their way there, stopping frequently along the way for hydration or just rest. They walked along the main roads, along the parks and statues, trying to soak in as much of Santiago as they could. As they walked they crossed the Peru Embassy from which an ambassador was leaving. To avoid getting in the way of the Ambassador’s car, which was perched on the footpath leaving the embassy, they walked behind it. Just as they walked behind it the sirens started going off, lights flashing and alarms blaring. As a reflex both the Admiral and Captain ran as fast as they could. Freaking out they felt like throwing up. This was not the ideal cure for a hangover.

After about 1 hour of constant walking the Admiral and Captain had a great idea – Why not use one of the motorized scooters that were littered all over the city to scoot to their destinations? The scooters could be hired using the digital hire apps such as Lime, Bird or Grin, However the Answer to that rhetorical question was simple – Because the Admiral had no balancing abilities.

This however did not stop them. Adventure life was now a way of life for them both. They decided to attempt to scoot the remainder of the way.

This was humorous and fun for the Captain, whilst the Admiral feared for her life. They stopped every 2 minutes, in which the Admiral had a panic attack, screamed, laughed, cried and aged by 5 years. It was like a rollercoaster without straps. They scooted along the city parks for about an hour and finally a very freaked out Admiral alongside a gleeful Captain reached Bicentennial Park.

Ditching their Scooters they explored the park, it was a nice park with families out flying kites, dogs playing and as well as a few lakes scattered along its stretch. They walked across in search of the infamous flamingos.

They found the colony of flamingos towards the back of the park, feeding through hooked beaks, balanced on one reedlike leg with the other bent forward at an awkward angle.

Catching the stare of a flamingo is slightly unsettling. The bird’s unblinking, reptilian eyes contain beady black pupils within a bright yellow iris, and the creature can be both fascinating and unnerving to look at.

After taking a few snaps of the reptile birds they started to feel unsettled and the time had come to leave. With some reluctance and some dedicated prayers to multiple Gods from the Admiral, they decided to scoot back.

The prayers seemed useful as the Admiral’s crash count only reached single digits.

The relieved duo reached the hotel after having a pitstop for shopping and were told by reception that for National Day the city had a few Fonda’s or Fairs running. When the Captain inquired further about these the reception desk told them that they involved heaps of drinking meaning heaps of drunk citizens, loads of food, dancing and music. The Captain had a meme flashback as he thought to himself “Shut up and take my money!”

When the Captain asked where these fairs we located reception gave the location of two, but advised them not to go after dark, and if they did, to leave all belongings behind as they thought it was dangerous due to the intoxicated locals.

They informed them of the biggest one and reiterated that they did not recommend they went, especially after dark. The potential opportunity to party and get drunk with locals was too tempting for the Captain to forgo.

After a much needed (and first ever on this trip) pool and sauna session, they got ready to head to the big Fonda at O’Higgins park. This being the one they had specifically been recommended not to go to. They caught an uber and were dropped off with some Spanish instructions thrown at them on how to get there. They zipped up pockets and braced themselves for the madness to ensue.

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Herded like cattle they followed a huge crowd towards a gated entrance where they had to buy some tickets to enter the grounds. Utilising the Admiral’s now superior Spanish skills they were able to buy some tickets and enter the grounds.

They entered along with a swarm of people not knowing what to expect. Inside they walked past the infant zone and family zones and were soon confronted with music, food stalls and makeshift bars. Hundreds of stalls selling the infamous Terremotos they continued along, and amongst the now continuing stream of bars they saw a stage in the distance. As they walked towards it and the music became louder, it was not until they were amongst a huge crowd that they looked up and as far as they could see there were people dancing, singing and drinking. It was huge, unlike any fair they had seen before. Comparable to the size of Tomorrowland. They observed all be the people had a terremoto in hand alone with what appeared to be a stick or a tree branch full of meat. They continued through the crowd this time towards the smoke in the air, unable to stop themselves from dancing as they reached the food section. Here the landscape contained barbecues full of meat and bbq professionals armed with branches and utensils. It was crazy. Meat sticks everywhere.

They continued to walk along and exploring the stalls full of food, drinks and now some carnival games. Coming across a game in which you needed to take an electric wand across a guided path without touching the sides. The Captain believed the Admiral would smash this game, he motivated her and asked the vendor how much, speaking in Spanish he used gestures to indicate 3 tries and that they’re were 2 versions, one in which you get an electric shock if you touched the side and one which you didn’t. The Admiral, the hero that she is, opted for the one in which you did get an electric shock. She started guiding the wand across, only to be shocked twice instantly. She continued the third time, and beside the stress and the several onlookers that had gathered around her to spectate, the Admiral successfully completed the task! She won a giant Chicken teddy for her efforts!

They celebrated and bought some Mojitos that were served in Viking cups, some Papas Fritas (French fries) and ate with some locals discussing their adventures using hand gestures as the locals spoke at them in Espanol.

Impressed by their efforts and feeling a little tipsy they decided to leave the madness and head back. En route to the exit the Admiral chokes on a lemon seed only with the Captain frantically yelling at her not to embarrass him with her coughing and spluttering, in front of the partying crowds and escorting police officers. After a brief interlude for the Admiral to recover they escaped the Fonda grounds.

The fair was an epic experience, something both of them were lucky to be part of and escape unscathed without any items stolen.

Counting blessings and not keen to take on the city again they went into hermit mode and ordered uber eats. Another adventure assured them when uber decided not to play ball and the driver got lost. A Spanish and English uber battle, although entertaining in hindsight was frustrating for a hungry duo. Three uber drivers later they ate their cold food and passed out.

They woke up hungover and scattered from the night before, fondly recounting the arguments they had with Uber eats. This was going to be their last day as they were to fly back later that night. The feels was getting deep into the Captain, he did not want to head back home and their time was coming to an end soon.

The duo had breakfast and got ready, today’s focus would be to complete any shopping they needed to do before heading back.

They stepped outside and started walking to the shopping Strip they had seen before. They noticed as soon as they left the hotel that the city was eerily quiet, there was hardly any cars on the road and all the shops had shutters drawn, there also was no for traffic. They walked along the ghost town, just to see more of the nothingness they walked past. Everything was shut. Much to their disappointment and unsurprisingly the shopping strip was all shut. The whole city seemed to have a hangover from the night before. Disappointed they caught an uber back to the hotel.

At the hotel, the Captain and Admiral had a discussion with the reception and informed them that everything was going to be shut as it was national day and no employees could work on that day. When asked if anything was open they suggested that there was one place and that was Dominico Park.

Dominico Park was a shopping village that was located about half an hour away from where they were staying. Desperate to take back some more souvenirs the pair headed there.

Unexpectedly and to their delight, Domenico Park was actually open. Unfortunately though the Park also was known for its expensive artisan crafts. The Captain and Admiral wandered around the small village and looked at some very expensive but very nice handicrafts. After discovering that there was nothing in their budget they decided to visit the other Fonda that was recommended by reception a day earlier. Coincidentally it was only half an hour by scooter from where they were. With some serious convincing and nerves of steel, the Admiral was game enough to risk her life and jump on the vessel again. They scooted to Alberto Hurtado Fonda. this Fonda unlike the one they had visited the day before, was much more family friendly with less emphasis on drinking and stealing, and more on stage shows and activities. There was a horse show going on as well as a handicrafts market and a cultural show that had traditional dances on stage, the thunder even had military representation with an army store and some tanks and other related paraphernalia in one section. Much like the one they had seen before it was enormous with thousands of people. The Captain and Admiral the grounds once again, seeing a ton of people still drinking terremotos despite the time being early and carrying meat on branch sticks. Satisfied an exhausted they headed back to the hotel for one final time.

As one final Hoorah and a last holiday activity they decided to go for a final sauna session. They strategically planned how to dry their clothes and packed their bags in silence and left the honeymoon suite, leaving a quarter bottle of champagne on the table.

They headed downstairs and ate at the hotel restaurant which, although was rated very highly and had a famous chef, had very mediocre food.

The Captain and Admiral then checked out of the hotel and within minutes were on an Uber to Santiago Airport. Hoping to finish off their trip and the last of their Chilean pesos, with some last minute shopping, the airport gifted them a final disappointment, with most shops shut and the ones open with mediocre and overpriced items.

They said their final goodbyes and with heavy hearts,memories and experiences that one could only dream of they boarded the vessel back home.

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Lima. Peru

by South America

Lima. Peru

Lima

The leader bean of Peru & the entrance city to forests, deserts, ceveche and memories.

Captains Log Day 5 – 27/08/19 4:50 am. VivaAir 400.

The Captain and admiral were off to a very mixed start, the plane had been delayed 2 hours due to hitting a bird (see “Santiago” Captains log) however the pilot had gone ‘el rápido y furioso’ and was able to turn this delay into 1 hour by violently speeding. The Captain was chilling on the plane, documenting the Santiago adventure. This was, right until the Admiral made a comment that boggled the Captain, She Said ” Hey I’m going to Catch some Z’s”. The captain had no idea what exactly that meant, he spent 15 minutes searching for these z’s until he asked “what exactly are Z’s?” She responded it means sleep… The Captain on his 32 years had never heard any normal person use such a term. He started to suspect the altitude had started to get to her. Things had begun to get weird.

Disembarking into lima was interesting, it seemed like the Captain and Admiral were celebrities, walking into arrivals area to balloons, photographers and screaming people. Shortly after realising that this was for families returning home, however the Captain stop thought he should wave at his adoring fans. They did not wave back, rather looking confused and startled as he walked past them. Finding a reliable driver was another challenge. All Taxi companies with Inflated prices advised them not to take a random taxi, saying things that involved the words ‘kidnapped, robbed” etc. A Hero that risked getting arrested, stormed into the arrivals area (an area only for authorised Taxi companies) and to save $5, they decided to go with him.

The hero was a nice family man named Carlos and despite his name knew where his car was. The journey in involved Car’not’los explaining the areas of Lima, and how dangerous the area of Downtown Lima was, coincidentally this was the area that the Captain and Admiral had decided to stay. He explained, despite this being the old part of town it was no place to stay once security left the area and it got dark, stating everyone is on drugs, there are people urinating everywhere and robbery is common practice.

He said the tourist district was an area called ‘Miraflores’ and there it was safe and hustling and bustling all night. When we asked for tips for traveling Lima, his recommendation was for us to change our accommodation. It was 8pm and arriving in Downtown Lima it was evident in what exactly he had meant. The City looked rough, quiet, narrow dark streets and shady characters lurking. There was no tourist in sight. The Cherry on top, was the barred up cage before we entered the lobby of the hotel, free with a man guarding the lobby.

They asked the receptionist if it was safe, she responded safe enough and parted some wisdom explaining that “if you go out for two pisco sours, just take enough money for two pisco sours” – she also did not seem confident in the safety in the neighbourhood. Despite thoughts of changing hotel and moving to Miraflores, the Captain and Admiral decided to stay.

Dropping off the bags and check-in was an easy process. The clock was inching towards nine pm, they quickly headed to the shop closeby to buy a Sim card. The walking strip was crowded, however there was no tourist anywhere to be seen. The Captain felt nervous, he maintained a hand on his pockets at all times. Finding a shop, purchasing the simcard was complicated process, with fingerprint scans, heaps of documentation complicated enough for 4 different people to be involved in printing, verifying and the payment process. They then had to go to another shop to recharge.

The Lima adventure was going to be short one, so despite the 4.30 am bus pick up the next day, and the time being 9.30pm they decided to venture down to Barranco the Bar District, which was 30 minutes away and home to some of the best breweries and bars in the region. It was time to GRAB IT.

Getting out of the uber the first thing they noticed was the number of people walking around, there was a huge buzz about it already. A couple passed them with a bottle of Smirnoff containing straight vodka and just took a few sips and continued walking. There was a central area with a university live battle of the bands happening. The vibe was on, they had to catch up. First up they went to a super hipster but famous bar – Barra 55. This place resembled something straight out of Melbourne or Brunswick, quaint, small, hipster decor and to top it off they have weekly international bartenders from different countries and they adjust the drinks and food menu based on them. This week it was mexico. Tequilla anyone?

A few strong cocktails in and things started to get hazy, we left Barra 55 and went to another famous destination, a microbrewery – Barranco Beer Company. Instead of going for dinner they made a huge ‘missed steak’ and decided to stay there, having some bar snacks for dinner and partying till 2am. They reached home and set the dreaded alarm for 4am. It be was going to be a long day.

At 4.30am the pick up vessel was waiting downstairs. They rushed and hungover in a zombie like state, got ready and departed. The adventures today were to explore the cities of Paracas and Huacachina.

Paracas – is known as the poor man’s Galapagos Island. It is a small Island off the coast of Peru and is home to hundreds of species of birds, including penguins, and Sea Lions. Huacachina – is a desert Oasis located in the driest desert in the world, the Atacama desert. Off they went and as the driver got stuck in early morning traffic, he proceeded to yell at people on the streets and have a bit of a hissy fit. Typical 4am behaviour. When they did escape the traffic death the driver started pelting down at high speeds.

The bus picked up several more hombres filling it right up and It was becoming apparent that the Captain and Admiral had not dressed appropriately, their shorts and teeshirt attire was heavily contrasted with down jackets and much warmer clothing.

They set off, and three and half hours later they reached Paracas. Here they were asked to change transportation methods and board a boat that was to take them into the Pacific Ocean. The Captain felt at home. As they started sailing the drop in temperature became very apparent.

Shivering prefusely and holding eachother tight in order to avoid catching hypothermia, the 30 minute boat ride came to a halt as it reached the first landmark. The Candelabra line formation. This was an ancient mysterious and deliberate formation on the side of a mountain very similar to the Nazca lines, and much like the Nazca lines hosting an unknown origin. Despite several interjections of the word “Aliens…” the Captain was shushed by the Admiral.

With just enough time to warm up as the boat slowed, they were off again speeding deeper into the Pacific passing hundreds if not thousands of sweeping Albatrosses in the air, sailing towards a formation of rocks on the horizon. From a distance the birds became evident, a variety of species, all unique. As we approached the land mass, what seemed like rocks was actually formations of birds including pelicans, albatrosses and penguins! Thousands of them covering the land. They navigated around the rocks and saw many more species as well as sea lions. Interesting fact: one Sea Lion male has up to 6 sea lion females that surround them. The boat sailed past several male sea lions with their harems.

They then saw crabs, abalone and planktons that feed the enormous population of sea life. The ‘ circle of life’ from the (sea) lion king played in the Captain’s mind.

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The hypothermic conditions only got worse as they finished up and headed back to shore shivering. During a quick break they ate tacu tacu at an awesome vegeterian place, but had to scoff it down in 9 minutes as the bus was ready to leave, they ate the rest on the bus. The next destination was an hour away and it was haucachina, a tiny oasis in the driest desert in the world – The Atacama Desert.

As the bus started to get closer to haucachina, the landscape transformed, the lush greenery that they saw in Paracas was now looking like mountains and the desert. The temperature also started to change. The Captain noticing it had gone from 12 degrees to 29 degrees in a matter of 50 minutes driving. All of our short and tee decisions started to make a lot of sense. Not long after, the greenery had vanished and the only thing that could be seen all around was sand. It felt like we had been transported to the Middle East

We finally approached our destination and it could be seen for miles. A little lake and some trees, standing out in the landscape like an olive in the middle of hommus dip. The bus took us right to the heart of this tiny desert oasis to the Wild Rover Hostel. This was to be the meeting spot. As a surprise our tour guide Claudia gifted us a free drink inside the hostel.

Unknowingly to claim a free drink the Captain and Admiral headed inside the Hostel, to find a club like vibe inside. There was people playing beer pong, a DJ, as well as a complete pool party going on. They even had a bar side tattoo artist, inking people up for 20 USD. The place closely resembled an Ibiza pool hotel rather than a hostel in the desert. Sinking down the drink and unfortunately not cashing in on the inking bargain, they went off to do the activities for the day.

Off they went to hike up a sand dune, instantly regretting the choice of strong cocktails, struggling as they walked up the 70 degree sand mountain.

Over the horizon awaited something out of Mad Max – about 60 angry looking dune buggies. Allocated into groups they jumped into a buggy with 6 other hombres and were greeted by the driver. Despite limited skilled in Spanish, they gathered that it was his first solo ride. Another driver also told them that their driver looks normal but is ‘un poco loco!’ It was more evident when we started that he was in it to impress, so much so that in the first 10 minutes the dune buggy carked it and broke down. We were stuck in the desert far from the base camp with only sand dunes around. It took several minutes for help to arrive, with every other buggy ignoring our pleas for help. The heat must have been getting to him as the captain’s thoughts reverted to resorting to cannibalism, just as the mechanic arrived. Non Gasolina.

Our newly appointed driver was not having a good shift and to make up for lost dune’age time he really put the pedal to then metal and went loco. Sand duning for those that don’t know is like an intense rollercoaster without any tracks. You are thrown around as the buggy jumps over mounds of sand, accelerating at 80 km per hour.

After just enough time for the Captain to feel his food coming up they stopped, right in the middle of nowhere. Here they were handed a snowboard like board and taught how to go down a mountain. The Captain volunteered to go first. Laying on his belly the captain zoomed off down a dune.

It was exhilarating, and the many flaws in OH&S were apparent – no helmet no gear and no rules. They did this several times and just when they finished up feeling satisfied, the driver asked them to get back in the buggy, and advised practice time was over. The reaction to which was a consistent ‘WTF!’ from the group. Here stood giants. Sand dunes reaching over 150 meters. Terrifying was an understatement. One by one with GREAT courage they lined up and headed down the beasts. The final boss was a 186 metre dune. If we thought the last few were terrifying this was his big and much more immature brother.

It came the Captain’s turn. He lined up his board. He went down. Fast. Near the bottom there was a small mound on his path that he noticed and was afraid of hitting. Just as he had reached peak acceleration his board gravitated towards it and as if in slow motion hit the mound of sand.

Everything slowed down as the captain tumbled, he heard distinct cracks and as he rolled he wondered what bones were breaking. He thought definitely his collar bone was gone. The thought then went to the admiral and what she would do with his broken body. At this point the tumbling halted. Much to his surprise and to the loud cries of the onlookers he lifted his head. He felt extremely dizzy and the shock was immense. He stood and checked and there didn’t feel like anything was broken. He was bruised and sore everywhere and there was patches of blood where he had cut himself but it seemed that he had not broken anything at this point.

The admiral as well as a few others rushed to help him he was still in shock and possibly concussed but he thought he was ok. Terrified and extremely shaken, he wiped the blood and limped his way back to the dune with the admiral to watch the sunset in the desert. He felt like a broken hero after a lost battle, riding off with the Princess.

 


Despite medical advice from a trusty dentist, the captain desperately needed a drink, they headed back to the wild rover where the captain downed some painkillers and a beer – do not try this at home kids. The day had come to an end, they boarded the bus and headed back to Lima watching Mrs Doubtfire and having Popcorn on the way. Bruised battered and exhausted they completed an amazing and memorable day.

Waking up with the body pains amplified they started the day learning more about the history of the city, this included the stories of political corruption, terrorism and genocide. They finished the tour and finally got a real taste of the local food and something they had been anticipating since the start of their trip. Peruvian Ceviche. It did not disappoint. The lemony raw fish dish was just spectacular.

Bellies full of protein they took a bus ride, (missing a few stops) to finally reach the popular and tourist district of Miraflores, which they explored, and found a Cat Park (Kennedy Park). This park was full of hundreds of stray cats and exploring humans patting and holding them. The Admiral was in paradise.

With great difficulty the Captain finally took the Admiral away from the cats and they took a stroll alongside the sea in love park where they bought some overpriced but delecious crepes that took too long to make. The last of their Lima hours were spent hunting for food. Hoping to have more local cuisine and with trusty Google in hand they found some very nice Peruvian Restaurants. The only thing they did not factor in was booking a space. After walking around for hours they finally got a seat at Panchita, one of the best Peruvian restaurants in town. Here we ate Tamales, Chicken stew and fried chicken, all of which was made from local ingredients and local dishes.

After a gorging gluttonous session the captain and admiral finally reached their room to find out clothes from 2 nights ago had not dried, setting up the bathroom into something that resembles a functional Meth Lab with fans and hangers of clothes everyehere. They slept, knowing that the time was 11.30 and that they had to be up at 1 am. They awoke to find that the clothes had yet to dry frazzled they sat their with hair dryers, till 2 am since they knew that they will not be able to wash and dry anything where they were off to next.

They boarded the flight and headed towards the Amazon Rainforest.

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The Amazon Rainforest. Iquitos. Peru

by South America

The Amazon Rainforest. Iquitos. Peru

The Amazon Rainforest

(Mos)Iquitos city where everything can kill you.

Captains Log Day 5 – 27/08/19 4:50 am. Viva Max VV 400

The Captain and Admiral disembarked on to the Tarmac in the Peruvian city of Iquitos, a town surrounded by the Amazon Rainforest.
This part of the journey was going to prove as one of the most challenging. They had mentally and physically prepared as much as they could but nothing could prepare them for what they were about to experience. On the tarmac was an aircraft that resembled Pablo’s plane, this has no relevance to anything, however was very important to document.
The airport, which could be confused for a rather large bus stop, contained a conveyor belt and was manned by a human sized giant moth.

They lubricated themselves, this time not with alcohol, but with enough mossie repellent for them to lay on their bellies and slide into the Amazon.
Outside with a board with their names awaited the tour guide the MVP of this journey in all senses of the term. His name was Golbort, which they found out much later in the trip, and until then referred to him as Goldberg.
They jumped into a van with Goldberg and headed towards the dock where they would hop onto a boat and head into the Amazon rainforest.
On the bus Goldberg became much more chatty and told stories about the animals in the rainforest and the river. He explained about the dangers that exist in the Amazon River, and that these are not just limited to Piranhas and the 80 metre depth of the river, he explanted how there are fish like catfish that like the taste of blood and there have been stories of women menstruating and the fish deciding to swim upstream to the island of ovaries.

He told us of catfish that have spiked skins and anytime a person stepped on them they would get spiked and the wound would get infected. As well as the hectic stores of alligators, snakes and eels in the water. Basically, If you fall in, your chances of survival resemble the number of waterfront relaxation resorts in the region. They jumped off after a quick breakfast and coffee, then headed straight to the the dock which was also the fish market in town.
It was hot! about 35 degrees with over 80% humidity. Singapore started looking like child’s play. At the market they saw very interesting and intense things that locals would eat, they saw carcasses of catfish, alligator skulls, a half cut up fish that was still breathing, as well as something that made their stomachs churn and throats gag, Palm Tree Worms.

Even as the Captain writes these words, the memory is making him gag. Squirming Mr Goldberg held the worms offering the captain and admiral to sample the goods. However, as tempting as it was they politely refused.
Escaping the market along with the visuals and smells they jumped on a boat and set sail down the Amazon River.
The river was huge, at some points there was no land on the horizon, Goldberg explained that people believed it to be the longest river, longer than the Nile. It was also muddy, nothing could be seen underneath the surface, the colour resembling a nice caramelized top of a cream brullee, except instead of custardy goodness, under the surface lay a million ways to die. Soon there was no sign of civilisations. They made a pit stop about forty-five minutes into the journey at a small sanctuary in which they fed Piranha, Alligators and Paiche – The paiche, known scientifically as Arapaima gigas, is the largest fish in the Peruvian Amazon, reaching lengths of approximately 3 meters and weighing up to 200 kilos. It was one big scary Monster fish!

Another thirty minutes down the river and they were approaching the forest lodge that would be their home for the next few days. As they began to dock the rains started. The downpour was heavy. They got off the boat onto a muddy River bank and followed Goldberg into the forest and the rain pelted down. They tried to walk as fast as they could, however the mud and the rawness of the jungle made it hard to run. After ten minutes trekking through the jungle they got to the lodge. The lodge was a big shack with a high roof which was made of leaves and the walls made of wood. There was no electricity, however they were advised that the electricity would come on for two hours between 6pm and 8pm.

They were shown to their room which had 2 beds with mosquito nets and a toilet. They had access to the shower, however were advised that it was river water and not suitable to drink. Also that the water was not heated. This was going to get ghetto! Taking some time to reflect the Captain distinctly remembers the sounds of the forest and the smell. There is nothing to compare this to, it was something that needs to be experienced to comprehend.

Since there was another few hours before lunch they had some time, in which they decided to have a quick snooze. It was a very sticky nap, also it was not long after that the captain realised that his bed was getting wet, the window was right next to it and the resin was drizzling in, he migrated to the Admirals bed. They lay sweating profusely and then got up and reapplied another layer of sunscreen followed by mosquito repellent. The rain had stopped although you could hear the pitter patter of droplets on the trees as they made their way to the common area for Lunch. Catfish, rice and tomatoes was on the menu. The catfish had a very earthy and river like taste with a slight degree of fisheyness. Over lunch we were introduced to Paco the Macaw and Jane the cat that were the lodge’s pets.

Paco was a very loud bird, Goldberg advised us that he makes these noises in excitement when he sensed that the rain is coming. According to our flamboyant and colourful weatherman, the forecast was heavy rain. Given some free time before the jungle walk to a local village they made their way back to their rooms. Along the way meeting monkeys that hung around the lodge, feeding them some bananas. After another sticky rest they gathered in the common area at around 3pm, here Goldberg introduced them to another Cadet that would be joining the adventure, Ground Cadet Alex who hailed from China but lived in Canada. Exchanging dignitaries, they were asked to put on some gumboots. The rain had created a land of mud and mush.

Geared up and ready to go they headed into the open forest, sometimes following a trail and others just venturing straight into the wilderness. They crossed a small stream on a make shift bridge and came to big open plain. Goldberg then whistled and yelled out something in a foreign language. He then turned around and told them that they were entering a local village. At the village the elders came out and greeted them, this included a Shaman or Witchdoctor of the village, it was a fascinating experience. Soon after the elders the ladies came out, sleepy (as if they just woke up) and uninterested, they then performed a happy dance that has the Admiral and Captain confused.

They explained about an alcoholic beverage in the village and for once the captain refused. It was made by chewing leaves and fruits, and then spitting them into a bowl where it was mushed and left to ferment. Once it fermented, cheers lads. They brought some souvenirs from the village people including roots from the ayahuasca vine, which was great for happiness and well being. After this experience, Goldberg and company started to walk back. The torrential rain they witnessed earlier had left everything muddy and wet, while the sun now shone, meaning the heat and humidity was leaving the crew dripping with sweat. Once back at the lodge they were again given free time. This time rather than retreating to the room the captain and admiral decided to stay awake in the lounge area as the electricity was on so they could charge their phones as well as chat to Goldberg.

Goldberg told stories. Stories that terrified them. Stories of snakes and the jungle goblins. The first story was about how his own grandfather had died of a viper bite to the face in the jungle, and could not have been avoided as the viper just hung from a tree unseen and bit him. They tried local medicine but he did died within a week.

Another story was from many years ago, when he was out in the jungle to do some logging with a few others. At night fall the leader of the group advised everyone to sleep above ground in hammocks, which all the men did. However the leader had brought his girlfriend there and had a tent so decided to sleep in the tent. At night they heard one loud screem so they rushed to see what had happened. what they saw was horror. A ‘Bushmaster’ snake had pulled her out of her sleeping bag and was continuously biting her on the leg. They quickly got a gun and shot the snake, however it was too late, the girl’s body had gone black in colour. All the men packed up and left the day after, leaving months of supplies and all in the jungle. He also explained about the spirits that live in the jungle, referring to them as goblins. He said that when Shaman do rituals they often call these spirits to aid them. Sometimes they do not leave. He explained how they play tricks on people. Trekking stories about how they materialise themselves as known people and lead guests into the forests at night. He also said that they hide in shadows when it rains, so not to look into the rain. Thankfully at that point, others including cadet Alex came into the lodge. It was dinner time.

Dinner was soy chicken and vegetables accompanied by papaya and plantains. They gave the Captain some spicy chillies on request, that made this the best meal in the jungle. The fun was not over, just as they grabbed the papayas for dessert the rain started. Mr Paco was right. This was not like any other rain they had witnessed before. It was heavy, strong and followed by thunder and lightning. They said goodnight and headed to the room before the lights went out. The thunder felt close and was continuous for hours. The banging of thunder and lightning had the captain petrified. Words can not describe how scared he was.

The thunder continued and they sat darkness, the captain often letting out a scream. The stories of forest goblins making him shake.

This was the most scared the captain has ever felt, shaking and squeezing the admiral everytime the lightning went off. He finally hid underneath the doona and prayed, as he slowly fell asleep. The next morning they awoke to birds chirping and the drum playing, which indicated breakfast was ready. The sun was shining as they walked into the common area where cadet Alex was already waiting. Breakfast was rice omelette, bread and fresh pineapple juice.

They spoke to cadet asked about the night before and she confirmed hearing loads of hysterical screaming from the room. It kept her up for a while. A very embarrassed Captain admitted it was him and he explained how close he was to soiling the bed. After breakfast they put on their gumboots and jumped on a boat and headed deep into the jungle. Sailing for over an hour they reached a secluded spot and Goldberg steered the boat to the river bed.

Off they went deep into the forest, Mr Goldberg armed with a machete slicing through the flora as they walked. Straight away the Captain had gone into fight or flight mode, the adrenaline pumping, he just could not get over the sounds of the forest. Secondly he noticed the smell, next time you buy a forest fresh air freshener know that it smells nothing like the forest. Lastly the visuals. You become green blind in the forest. Everything blends into one, depth perception is affected and your ability to distinguish objects from one another weakens. Lastly the heat, the only thing you could possibly compare it to would be a steam room. Imagine walking in a steam room fully dressed in full sleeve clothing to avoid mosquito bites. Our skins were like open taps.

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They walked into the jungle spotting spiders, ‘chicken birds’ and even the ayahuasca vine. The constant fear of all the things they were not spotting was on the Captain’s mind. Luckily a wild doggo joined us on our quest and followed us around the forest, as if sent to protect us. The two hour trek was gruelling, not only due to the heat and mosquitos, but also the lake like puddles we needed to wade across. Not knowing if they had snakes or eels swimming in them. After what seemed like a mission through the forest, the trek came to an end at an animal conservation centre. In the conversation centre straight away the Captain and Admiral were intrigued. They saw a giant tortoise, followed by a prehistoric tortoise. The prehistoric tortoise was something out of a sci fi movie or something Ash would catch in a Pokeball. It was super weird.

They then saw an 8 metre long Anaconda, which in the past had attacked the zoo keeper when he was cleaning his enclosure. It had not been fed. After providing this information, Goldberg insisted everyone should pose with it for good luck. They politely declined. Then the moment came that the Captain had been waiting for since the start of this trip. It could also be the sole reason he wanted to go to the rainforest. A moment that would define him, give him purpose. It was time to meet his spirit animal. The Sloth. The time has come and boy it was worth every second. He was amazing. What a guy. Such grace, such beauty, such cuteness such wisdom. All the sloth wanted was a hug, they held him like a baby and he cuddled back. He was just adorable. Life achievement unlocked.

With great difficulty Mr Goldberg convinced them it was time to move on. Saying goodbye was hard. They bid farewell after they fed Mr Sloth some leaves. It was time to go. Mr Sloth also needed to sleep. Tears were shed. Before they left they saw some monkeys, that tried to steal stuff from the admiral’s bag but their plans were foiled in the last second by Mr Goldberg.

For lunch the trio unfortunately minus Mr Sloth headed to a floating restaurant. The lunch today was… Paiche – the giant Amazonian fish they had seen the day before. The consistency resembled more chicken than fish, although that distinct muddy freshwater taste came through. Just as they were leaving the floating restaurant the rain started once again. On the boat they huddled together for warmth and to remain dry.

When disembarking the muddy shores took the Captain, he started to sink in the mud and reached almost hip deep until a frantically grabbed the Admiral for support. Fortunately the Admiral was also bogged and therefore stable. Goldberg pulled them out, very scary and interesting moment. As they continued they encountered a river which they needed to cross. The bridge (a bunch of sticks tried together with rope) had been swept away from the previous night’s storm.

They walked upstream and found a fallen tree and used this to cross over to the other side. After an eventful and super stressful few hours, they made it back, drenched and exhausted to the lodge. The Captain and Admiral decided once again not to retreat and met some new friends, this included Commander Raul and his partner, who were from Lima Peru and were running an awesome vegetarian food business as well as David and Andrea from Switzerland.

They chilled and chatted about experiences, travels, life abroad and at home. They also thought that the Captain looked like Ted from “How I Met Your Mother” which had the Captain chuffed . They broke bread together which involved chicken and vegetables and drank till it was lights out. At this point the Captain Called it a night, he retreated to the dark room. Had a cold shower. Covered himself with mosquito repellant and slept. This night was a lot less eventful (and less terrifying) the the night before.

The last day in the rainforest began with breakfast, which was eggs, plantain bread. Their friends from the night before joined in a last supper and exchanged stories and details. They left the lodge with gumboots and boarded a boat to sail down the Amazon River again, this time as they sailed along they saw the famed Amazon pink dolphins. Forest legend holds that the dolphins are evil and killing them would bring a life of bad luck. The locals also believe that dolphins come to villages by shapeshifting and seduce bathing girls to follow them into an underwater Atlantis, they do and they drown.

After saying a final goodbye to our friends after the boat dropped them off for a jungle walk, they crossed back to a floating platform. On the floating platform the Captain and Admiral were handed sticks with a string and hook attached. They then walked over to Goldberg who gave them some chicken skin to put on the hook. He then taught them how to fish for Piranha and let them go.

They fished for over an hour with the Admiral showcasing her bloodline fishing skills and catching the most fish (eight) whilst the Captain caught three. Fishing was pretty terrifying, as when the piranha come out of the water they come out snapping. You need to keep them safely away from your body or else they will bite you. There was a horrific moment when Goldberg tried to feed one piranha to another. Pretty Savage.

With our spoils we went to one more conservation centre where they unlocked another life goal which was to meet a Toucan! Mr Toucan was super friendly and happily posed for a selfie with the Captain and Admiral. They said goodbye to Mr Toucan and jumped back on the boat to the lodge where they had another catfish lunch (this time cooked in Banana leaf). They then packed their bags and proceeded to undertake a sad check out ceremony. Once again and for the final time they crossed the muddy and mulchy path, this time with attendants carrying their bags. They boarded the boat and said goodbye to this enchanting magical and terrifying place.

Arriving back in the town of Iquitos they checked in. Never in the Captain’s life had a shower been more appealing. The past three days they had layered on sunscreen, mosquito repellant and sweat one after another like home made puff pastry. They showered like they have never washed themselves before, scrubbing off the dirt and cocktail of substances on their skins. The presence of warm water is something we all take for granted far too often. Much like their bodies, their clothes were like steaming garbage, they were surprised that flies had not surrounded them. Feeling much more fresh they found a laundry closeby and took the streaming pile of sweat and fabric to someone who would wash them.

While the laundry was being done the Captain and Admiral explored the city. Iquitos was a port city famous for the rubber trees. Goodyear came here and established a rubber industry from the rubber trees of the forest. The majority of the city is very Colonial and based around the ports. To celebrate surviving, they ate crepes and watched the sunset over the Amazon River, before collecting their clean clothes and went back to the hotel.

Later for dinner they explored the city more and much to the Admiral’s hesitation chose a grill to have dinner. The absence of refrigeration was evident as they had to choose their kababs by pointing to them in a cabinet. The Captain saw a few bugs in the cabinet but did not tell the Admiral about them. The food was super yummy, but somehow their tummies did feel strange as they left. The next day they bid farewell to Iquitos and headed to the airport.

After three tough and gruelling days, the jungle experience was over. Although the Captain feared for his life at every corner and that it was the hardest thing the Captain he has ever done, it was the most amazing. Words can not describe the feelings, sounds and smells that are experienced there. It should always be respected and feared. With that they said farewell to the lungs of the earth and headed off to Cusco, the ancient city and capital of the inca empire. Home to one of the seven wonders of the world. Macchu Picchu

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Main

Cusco. Peru

by South America

Cusco. Peru

Cusco

An ancient city, filled with mystery, offering glimpses of a great lost civilization.

Captains Log Day 13 – 03/09/19 11:10 am. Amaszonas flight Z8501

The Captain and Admiral had felt triumphant on surviving the biggest and most dangerous jungle in the world, but what awaited them at the end of their flight was equally as daunting. Altitude. Altitude sickness, is an illness used to describe physical distress from difficulty adjusting to lower oxygen pressure at high altitude. The higher you go the lower the amount of oxygen. Altitude sickness can make you dizzy, nauseous, and, in extreme cases, can even kill you.

Generally the sickness typically occurs only above 2,000 to 2,500 metres above sea level. Where the Captain and Admiral were off to, the altitude was 3,399 metres above sea level. They arrived at Cuzco airport to surprisingly find that a Taxi driver had been walking around saying the Captain’s name. When the driver popped over to near where they were standing, they didn’t acknowledge him calling the Captain’s name, thinking surely he wasn’t calling for them. Later he came back with the surname and a board, it was at this point that they did realise he had been infected by the same venom that the Captain had coursing through his veins. “Bad pronunciation syndrome”. Unfortunately for them there was no antivenom.

The city of Cusco is located in the Andes mountains, and was once capital of the Inca Empire. It is now known for its archaeological remains and Spanish colonial architecture as well as being the home to one of the seven wonders of the world, Machu Picchu. En route to thier accommodation it was evident that Cusco was an ancient city. The roads all very narrow (barely able to fit one car), they were made of what looked like pebbles and extremely steep. They even hear a tourist compare the steepness to the famous Lombard Street in San Francisco. Additionally as they drove up the steep hills, they noticed the abundance of yoga relaxation retreats, ayahuasca healing sessions, vegetarian restaurants, boutique coffee shops and artisan shops all of which brought one word to mind.. ‘hipster’

They arrived to their accommodation which was atop a hill in the San Blas district of Cusco city, an area full of boutique eateries and bars. When they entered the accommodation they were greeted by a cheeky and often sarcastic, but very nice manager Fernando. They nicknamed him Cheeky Fernando. Upon checking in Fernando pointed out to them the oxygen tank indicating that people had fainted and struggled before. He also told them to take it easy and rest for the time being and adjust. The Captain and Admiral felt amazing at this point and there was not a chance in the world that the Captain would miss out a day exploring. So off they went.

It was not long until they had to really eat their words. The Captain was a little out of breath whilst walking but the Admiral was a new resident of struggletown. Overrun with instances of fatigue and breathlessness, they slowed down, as they explored the streets. They stopped at a random street seller and bought some Coca leaves that locals believe helps with energy and counteracts the altitude impacts. They chewed on the leaves, the Captain instantly felt better and his mouth numb but the Admiral being a practitioner of modern medicine had her doubts. In any case they felt more energized. Enough to convince the Captain If (and its a mammoth IF), the aliens did not build the Incan buildings then it could be natives high on coca leaves running around with bricks.
As they explored, the evidence of the city being very hipster became more apparent. The Captain says this in a positive light as the food was fresh, the coffee pretty decent, and the vibe friendly (at times very ‘one with the earth’). They stopped at another vendor and had ‘Chicha Morada’. It is a national drink of Peru, the base ingredient of the drink is corn culli, which is a Peruvian variety of corn known commonly as purple corn which is abundantly grown and harvested along the Andes Mountains. It tasted like raspberry and pomegranate juice. The burst of sugar once again helped as they now joined the walking tour.

Before we continue just a quick disclaimer since the Captain and Admiral are in an ancient City alot of this log will contain research and information about the Inca Empire. The Captain will do his best to keep this entertaining, however if you don’t like history stuff you may get bored. Also most research is from the Wikipedia and the interwebs. The Captain is not attached to it so please feel free to reach out if some of it sounds wrong. He still maintains the belief that there was Aliens involved but will play it out the ‘their’ way for this entry. Ok with that out of the way – Time for a bit of a history crash course! #thankswikipedia

The Inca Empire, was the largest empire in pre-Columbian America. Its political and administrative structure is considered by most scholars to have been the most developed in the Americas before Columbus’ arrival. The administrative, political and military center of the empire was located in the city of Cusco (Qosqo). The Empire was only around from 1438 to 1533 (that’s less than 100 years!). Incan is a term reserved for the king’s and rulers while the common peoples of the empire were Quechuans. The Incas incorporated a large portion of western South America, centered on the Andean Mountains, using conquest and peaceful assimilation, among other methods.

In 1438 a guy named Pachacuti became the king of the Quechuan people. He greatly expanded the lands that Cuzco controlled. Soon Cuzco was the center of the vast Inca Empire.

Then in 1532 came conquistador Francisco Pizarro with 168 Spanish soldiers and fought 3000 Incan warriors and won. They only had three or four Spaniards casualties. He discovered the treasures and ordered for more reinforcements. Over the next 5 years they eradicated 90% of the 16 million Incan population, most had escaped deep into the jungle and by 1575 had killed the last remaining Incan king. To this day it is unclear why the aliens did not help the Inca people.
#crashcoursecomplete

On the walking tour other cool things that they learnt were about how the Peru flag has the quinine tree on it, as it was the key thing that helped save the Spanish from Malaria. Another dark and rather morbid story was about a native farmer that went out for the day but realised he had forgotten something, so he returned home. At home he found the bishop trying to do things to his daughter. In disgust he started yelling frantically down the street about what he has seen. The local police officer arrested him. Later the bishop came out and instead accused the farmer of the same crime. With that the local mam was executed. As a lesson his bones are built into the ground. Now that part of ground is the entrance to a restaurant. The Captain and Admiral went in and saw these bones.

By the end of the tour the temperature had significantly dropped and it was freezing. The Captain who had not anticipated this change had clearly not dressed appropriately. They had to quicky scurry home and get ready in warmer clothes before they went out again. The kababs from Iquitos had worked their magic and both the Captain and Admiral’s stomachs were destroyed. The insects and lack of refrigeration should have been an indication of things to come, however it must have been over looked. They took a recommendation of commander Raul from the Amazon and decided to head to Green point, which was the top rated vegan and vegetarian restaurant, in a town full of vegan and vegetarian restaurants. The ambiance, staff and menu was very impressive.

When asked if they were allergic to anything, the Captain proudly proclamimed to the amusement of the wait staff that “I’m is allergic to hungry”. There was a loud and emphatic face palm from the Admiral. Her gag reflex had kicked in and this time it was not due to the Iquitos kebabs. They ate some spectacular food, which included vegetarian Ceviche (consisting of three variations of the dish, mushroom, tomato and combination of mango and avacado), veg tacu tacu and Pad Thai. The food was great, although a little bit more pricy – Recommended. Exhauseted from a full day of adventure they called it a night and headed home.

The next morning they awoke to tingling feet and hands, a known side effect of the altitude drugs they had been taking. This however did not stop The Admiral once again heading straight to struggle town as they left to explore. With a breakfast consisting of crepes, coffee and Coca leaves they set off to explore the mountain ruins of Sacsayhuaman or as the Captain liked to call it Sexy human. Climbing a steep hill they both huffed and puffed often taking breaks to get there.

It was all worth it when up the top they found a herd of wild Llamas! Their thoughts distracted from the exploration wavered to “quick Llama take a selfie”. A life lesson. It is not easy to take a selfie with a Llama, especially one that is making noises that resemble a congested human. The Shepard warned them that he was about to spit and he was an angry one, yet in the name of fame (not so much fortune) they envisioned what an Inca would do – the answer to which was useless since they didn’t have cameras. So they just went with it and got as close as possible and SUCCESS. Llama selfie in the bag.

Now back to things of historical significance. They reached the grounds of Sexy human and a tour operator offered to drive them to a few other sites before they went in. After significant bargaining they agreed. These sites included:

Qenko – the largest holy places in the Cusco Region – here the Captain attempted to sacrifice the Admiral but did not have consent. Puka Pukara – a site of military ruins. This fort is made of large walls, terraces, and staircases and was part of the defense of Cusco. Tambomachay – Also known as “the bath of the Inca” It consists of a series of aqueducts, canals and waterfalls that run through the terraced rocks.

Finally the tour operator and driver dropped them back to sexy human. Sacsayhuaman – Located on a steep hill on the outskirts of the city was the fortress of Sacsayhuaman. This fortress was guarded with a series of huge stone walls. It is believed that more than 20 thousand men extracted the stones from the nearby quarries and moved it 20 kilometers to the hill of the city of Cusco. There are individual stones in the walls so big they are estimated to weigh nearly 200 tons!
Many of the stones in the walls of Sacsayhuaman fit so closely together that you cannot even slide a piece of paper between them. Good point to note here is that this civilisation did not have the wheel or horses. It still is a mystery as to how these structures were built. If this does not spell out Aliens the Captain is not sure what does.

Spending hours exploring they were fascinated by this place. So much mystery and intrigue filled them like many other visitors as they leave Sexy human.

Next on the list to explore was Cristoblanco. Perched high above the colonial center of Cusco, is Cristo Blanco a large statue of Jesus Christ that can be seen across the city. Towering some 8 meters high the white structure was a gift from Arabic Palestinians who sought refuge in Cusco after World War II. The statue depicts Christ extending his arms outwards, very similar to Rio´s Christ the Redeemer, but a lot smaller. They struggled to take a photo as it seemed it was seniors day and every person there had grand children to Whatsapp photos to. In a brief 10 second window, in which they assisted one of the members find the camera icon on their phone, the Captain snapped a few photos.

Absolutely drained, the Captain and Admiral started their decent down the mountain. The Captain had discovered a new greeting and much to the dislike of the Admiral, tilted his head and said “Howdy” to everyone on the way down.
They finally reached the bottom and headed for some much needed refreshing beverages. They headed to the Central Market for some fresh and delicious juice, followed by burgers. Refreshed but exhausted they headed home for a rest and to meet up with their tour guide Juan for all the right documents needed for the Machu Picchu Adventure that they were to start the next day.

After a briefing and handover with Juan as well as some much needed rest they changed into warmer clothing before setting out for dinner and to explore the late night Cusco scene.

During their walk the Admiral randomly stated “It smells Beautiful here” to which the Cap responded ” Honey we are outside a KFC” she was not wrong. It smelled delicious. They could not be distracted as they were on a mission to try the local cuisine and staple meat Cuy.

Cuy was what we call guinea pig. Based on recommendation and referral they headed to an Indian restaurant called Korma sutra restaurant for tandoori guinea pig. Although they were sorely disappointed with the food and put the bad curries and naans down to Puruvian fusion Indian, it was not what they had come there for. The Guinea pig had very tough skin and big layer of fat with very little meat. But the meat was ok. It tasted like duck. It was like pig fat on duck. Meat was nice, although very little of it. Calling it a night they retreated back and packed their day packs, the next 2 days were going to be full on, but what dreams are made of.

At 7 am in the morning a private taxi picked them up, Red eyed and exhausted the Captain and Admiral smashed down some crepes for breakfast and boarded the vessel for the adventure that was to come. Today they were off to visit the Sacred Valley, before being dropped to Ollantaytambo for their train up to the base town of Machu Picchu or Aguas Calientes.

First up was the Sacred Valley. The Sacred Valley of the Incas is a valley that contains many famous and beautiful Inca ruins. It was called the Sacred Valley because it contains some of the best land in the region and was not a part of the Empire but the property of the Emperor or Inca himself.

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They moved on to the next destination however were hindered by a mob of sheep crossing the road. They waited patiently until the herd dispersed.

Finally reaching one of the most fascinating sites the Captain had ever seen. Moray. The site consists of several enormous circular depressions made from concentric circular stone terraces which diminish in size towards the middle in a similar fashion to an amphitheatre. Experts have suggested that Moray may have been some kind of Inca agricultural laboratory to study the effects of the different climatic conditions on crops and possibly helping to domesticate and acclimatize certain crops for use at high altitudes. Each platform has a different climate and the temperature difference of as much as 15 °C between the top and the bottom.

Once again it becomes hard to comprehend a civilisation that did not have access to the wheel, building such a place and undertaking agricultural experiments as if they were part of a modern day pharmaceutical company. The ‘How’ being put aside, the complex was astonishing. The last stop on the tour before they had to board the train was the Salineras de Mara’s – Salt Mines.

3000 pools of natural salt. These mines are still in operation supplying salt to a large part of the population of the country. The salt mines also produce Pink salt, which can only be found in four places in the world. The Incan legend says that four Ayar brothers, sons of Viracocha, were sent by their father in search of fertile land. But one of them, Ayar Cachi, had huge strength, so his brothers, scared of him, decided to lock him up on a mountain. The tears of Ayar Cachi were so many that created this amazing place.

Salineras de Mara’s was thier last stop before getting dropped off to the train station in the town of Ollantaytambo and just as they arrived “Living on a prayer” was blasting on the car stereo. Ollantaytambo is a town and an Inca archaeological site some 72 km by road northwest of the city of Cusco. During the Inca Empire, Ollantaytambo was the royal estate of Emperor Pachacuti, who conquered the region and built the town and a ceremonial center. Now it was the location where most tourists caught the Peru Rail train to the Machu Picchu town of Aguas Calientes.

The train was a similar generation model to the old school Indian coal engines, but it lacked the 100 people per square metre rule found in most Indian trains. The train ride took 2 hours and was extremely picturesque, running on the side of the the river, it went past beautiful streams and waterfalls.

They arrived at the town of Machupicchu or Machupicchu Pueblo, also known as Aguas Calientes. It is the closest access point to the historical site of Machu Picchu which is 6 kilometres or about a 1.5 hours walk. There are many hotels and restaurants for tourists, as well as natural hot baths which gave the town its colloquial Spanish name. The baths were destroyed by floods several years ago, but have been rebuilt. At the station a pirate from the Captain’s hostel arrived holding a sign for the Admiral. He led them about 500 metres uphill to their accommodation which was a small room in a hostel with a private bathroom. Once they had checked in they started doing some research on where to grab food, to their shock every restaurant was 3 to 4 times more expensive than Cusco. E.g. a 3 course lunch in Cusco would be 15 SOL (AUD $7) and in Aguas Calientes it was 45 SOL (AUD $21). Additionally restaurants there have a service tax or illegal gringo tax that could range from 10% to 25%. Note this is not legal and it eatery owners have descretion on what they charge.

Slightly disheartened they decided to walk down to the local market, as one thing their researching did tell them was the market remained a local hangout with local prices. The market was pretty overwhelming, it was much more raw then any of the other markets they had visited, with many more doggos walking around. They grabbed a nice fresh mixed juice and then headed back. The Captain wanted to eat there, but the chances of death with food poisoning was at record levels.

Spending dinner time researching they were able to find a place that had no add on tax and the food was highly rated ‘cale totoria’. Coincidentally this place was just next door to the hostel. The food was pretty decent although the manager was a bit surprised by their order of vegetarian pizza with chicken. The manager was also super entertaining.

Finishing up they went and gathered supplies for the hike water, energy bars, oreos as well as bananas to start in the morning with. When they got back however the hostel lady came over with a lunch pack for them that contained the same things (minus the Oreos). They now had double foodies.

This may seem simple but it led to great debate and some arguing as they only had 1 little day pack that they could take up the mountain with them. After some heated discussion and tears, they were finally ready to go, with one (very packed backpack and one that they would leave behind as check out was 9 am (another tourist exploitation) Time had escaped them they had to be up in 4 hours to start the epic hike up to the inca landmark.

The clock struck 4 and it was time to undertake the massive and daunting task of hiking up to Machu Picchu. This is a moment of this journey that was marked as a highlight and a mental challenge for the Admiral and Captain. Visiting one of the 7 wonders would be a bucket list item ticked off, it meant a lot to them to succeed at this challenge.

After a quick shower and a breakfast of 2 bananas and energy bars. It was pitch dark as they left. The first part of the hike was a 35 minute walk to the check point. Like noobz both of them had forgotten to bring flashlights and started walking in the dark, until they got close enough to start tailgating others that had flashlights. Reaching the checkpoint they were confronted with a large line of people waiting to get past the border check. They waited in the dark for 20 minutes until finally amidst distressed tourists they were called up. Without any issues they got through this hurdle and started the climb.

The hike consistented of thousands of steps made of boulders, each with a different height and width, making it super difficult to navigate with phone flashlights. It was not long until the sun started to rise. The hike was tough. It was not easy by any means. The altitude combined with the steep steps made it a real challenge. They often stopped to catch a breath, at times they felt like calling it and heading back, but they motivated each other and like a finely oiled machine backed and supported each other with every step. They knew what waited on the other side was going to be worth the effort.

The views along the way are out of this world, being surrounded with forest and gigantic mountains and clouds is something to be seen with your own eyes. Severely exerted and very exhausted they reached the entrance point at Machu Picchu at 6.20 am, they got a Machu Picchu stamp in the passport and entered. Due to the volume of tourists they impose a time limit at the park, the Admiral and Captain had a limit of 6 hours to explore the grounds before they would be asked to leave.

Just as the sun shone through the crevices through the mountains they reached a site that blew their minds. Macchu Picchu. The Captain can not do any justice by even attempting to describe the site before them. The Sun rays making the city shimmer. It was just beautiful. The scale and size could not be captured by the photographs, neither the detail or the finesse in the structure.

It was spectacular. For some history, Machu Picchu was a city of the Inca Empire. It is sometimes called the “lost city” because the Spanish never discovered the city when they conquered the Inca in the 1500s.

Machu Picchu means “Old Peak” or “Old Mountain” in the Quechua language of the Inca. Machu Picchu was not a large city. Probably only around 1,000 people lived there. It was likely a city for the Inca nobility and priests as well as their servants. Machu Picchu was built as the royal estate for the ninth Inca King, Pachacuti. Archeologists aren’t sure why he built it, however. There are a number of theories as to why he had it built. One theory is that it was a vacation retreat for the king. It is in a warmer spot than the capital city of Cuzco. It also is in a beautiful location and would have been a nice getaway for the king. Another theory is that it was built as a sacred religious site. Perhaps it was a combination of both theories.

The Captain’s theory involves other reasons as to the what and how, but with government agencies monitoring this he would rather not document it.

After spending several hours exploring the ruins the heat and the exhaustion got to them and as much as they wanted to stay, their time in the park was running out and they needed to catch the train back to Cusco. The hike down was tough on the knees, it took an hour and by the end of it the Captain was dragging his feet. The heat made it more difficult, and as they reached the last step they let our a triumphant yell of victory. Knees weak, legs like jelly, they walked the last stretch back to town.

Once reaching the city the Captain took charge and since there was still a few hours before their train. He started walking up to a nice shaded area where they could relax until the time to board the train. Little did he know that this area was uphill at the top of the town. It was as they were walking up that it finally happened, the Admiral broke. She stopped sat down and started crying, she was done, she couldn’t walk anymore. With great convincing the captain asked her for 5 more minutes and she reluctantly agreed. It was 4 minutes as they reached the shaded area. Phew!! A short nap on the park bench later the sun has shifted and no longer was it viable to sit on the park bench, they moved back to the restaurant they had dinner at the day before. They ordered some snacks and in her delusional state the Admiral took a bite out if the rose petal that was on the plate for decoration. Both the Captain and restaurant manager chuckled. She thought it was lettuce.

The day had gotten the best of her and soon enough they were on a train back to Cusco. It was a long trip, taking 3.5 hours and then a half hour taxi ride to reach back into the city centre. Although extremely exhausted their tummies got the best of them and they decided to visit a close by vegetarian restaurant called Prasada. The food here was fantastic, fresh and delicious, however it was the conversation of the table next to them that had them super intrigued. It was a group of people discussing a plethora of drug related topics including: LSD and Ayahuasca trips that they have had, how shamans are pretty funny guys and tell the best jokes, experience with acid (are you a laugh’er?), Boom music festival, Menergy etc. They left after dinner with a ton of items to debrief on, which they discussed on the way home. At home a hot shower and the best sleep ever awaited them.

On the final day at Cusco, after a decent sleep in they dropped off their laundry and visited the Ruins of Coricancha – The most important temple in Cuzco was the temple of the Sun god Inti. It was called the Coricancha which means “Golden Temple”. During the time of the Inca Empire the walls and floors of the temple were covered in sheets of gold. The temple was interesting, it would have been completely different Pre Spanish invasion, it highlights the importance of the stars which dictated almost every significant and deliberate Inca action. The last remaining item for them to do in Cusco was stocking up on Llama and Alpaca items. They headed to the artesan markets and ticked off all the gifts and cool presents for the awesome people at base camp.

Still struggling from the previous day’s adventures and exhausted from shopping, they went home for a pitstop and ended up passing out waking up just in time for dinner.

It was time for TacoMania! The Admiral and Captain had been looking forward to this culinary taco experience for a while, and it did not disappoint. The shared chicken tacos and had Alpaca Fajitas. Alpaca tasted very similar to overcooked lamb, but it was a delicious red meat that they both enjoyed. With that they completed the Peruvian adventure. Reflecting on the epic week they spent in this rich country and looking forward to the next part of this epic journey, the boarded a tiny tiny plane to Bolivia.

 

The first stop however was a Textiles market where they met some pretty amazing people including Mr Alpaca, Mrs Llamas as well as senor Guinea pig. They also got a demonstration of how some of the textiles are made, such as table runners, scarves etc. It was incredibly hard for the Captain to stop the Admiral from buying everything at this point. We escaped with money intact.

The first ruin we visited was Chincerro. 3700 Meters above sea level. Incans believe it was the birthplace of the rainbow. It had the most fertile land in the valley and was used for agriculture, to grow maize and potatoes. The Incan king burnt it when he fleed to avoid Spaniards getting a hold of it. As they decided to play it cheap, they did not have a tour guide and all this information was gained from following English tour guides around and listening in whilst trying to act inconspicuous. They left this incredible place with the Captain very close to being beaten up by a cranky and angry Admiral (for reason still not too clear to the Captain).

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La Paz. Bolivia

by South America

La Paz. Bolivia

La Paz

The City of superstitions, wrestling and gypsies

Captains Log Day 15 – 06/09/19 5:50 am. Latam Flight LA 2401

A word of warning this log contains some very morbid and sad stories please do not read if you are faint of heart.

The Captain and Admiral landed in La Paz, still feeling the residual exhaustion from the huge hike to Machu Picchu they had completed only a few days earlier.
The arrival dock did not resemble much of an airport, more rather a garage or a shed. Upon arrival they walked straight to baggage claim bypassing the counters for immigration as they were unmanned. Easy. They collected their bags and just as they were about to leave, the immigration officers had decided to come in to work. They were sent back to complete that process.

In the immigration line they were able to make friends with some fellow travelers that advised them that there had been transport strikes at Salar de Uyuni (The Bolivian Salt Flats). They had been advised by their tour operater that the bus that was to take them would no longer be able to and that they were trying to sort out ways to go.
This was highly concerning to the Captain and Admiral, as Uyuni was the sole reason that they had come to Bolivia, however unlike the distraught couple, they were to be flying into Uyuni and they had received no such news from their own tour operator.
They wished them best of luck and headed to the shops in search for a simcard. They were soon disappointed as the simcard store did not sell ‘chips’ between 12 and 2 pm, they grabbed a taxi and headed towards the city and the hotel.

Straight away they could see the landscape of the city consisted of a variety of hills and mountains, along which like veins lay a web of black lines. As they drove deeper into the city they realised the these black lines were paths of the over-head cable car system. It intertwined like the London tube. They were also quick to see the level of poverty that consumed the city. It was a rough and extremely raw place.

Additionally they had been warned by many comrades prior to the trip around the safety of Bolivia and La Paz. It had notoriously been known for robberies, kidnappings and of tourists going ‘missing’. They had been cautious but not too concerned as they were only going to be transiting on their way to Uyuni, only spending a few days there.
After checking in they went on an adventure to explore the surroundings and get their bearings. Since they were unable to get a SIM card at the airport they started walking down the street, searching for a place that would sell them one.
Straight away it was evident that both the Captain and Admiral felt uneasy. The sights and smells as well as the landscape, things sold by in street vendors and locals all overwhelmed them. It was like being in India, however not one person spoke English in the underdeveloped city. After bouncing through several shops they were able to find one that was that took their phones and was able to set them up. It was a nerve racking moment as he asked for both of thier devices and he stayed behind a glass enclosure. The transaction was successful and they were connected to the internet.

This is also when they received the terrible news. Something they had been dreading. An email from the tour operator. ” hello, for tomorrow, we can not operate because all street will be block per 2 days the people is very aggressive. please the best option it is change the flight on saturday please.”

After exchanging a few emails with the operators, it seemed it was futile trying to make it on those days. Additionally, they discovered this was a common occurrence in Bolivia. Extremely upset and frantic they started brainstorming what to do.

Ultimately they decided it would not be possible to make Uyuni in the timeframe they had anticipated, and since they felt uneasy with Bolivia so far, they made a call to pull back their flights to Argentina by two days. Still feeling a sense of loss and dissapointed to be missing out on the salt flat adventures, they made a pact not to think of it, also believing in the idea that whatever happens, happens for a reason. It was hard to console each other but that is what was required at that point of time.

Attempting to set out one more time before the city got dark, they headed out exploring, walking towards the Coca museum. They coincidentally ended up walking through the Witches Market, which as the name would suggest sold some rather bizarre items. Amongst all the various potions and elixers, they saw embalmed Llamas and Llama fetus’ hanging in shop fronts.
They reached the Coca museum and were able to learn the importance of the coca leaf to the native Bolivian tribes people as well as the impact to the world the Coca leaf has had. At one point the natives were paid by the Spanish in coca leaves, which in turn enables them to work 18- 20 hours down in the mine. Bolivia being the biggest exporter of coca in the world, the leaf went to pharmaceutical companies as well as hundreds of tons going to Coca-Cola, who still use the leaf for flavour. They also learnt the dark side of the plant. Bolivia being the biggest producer and exporter of cocaine in the world. The exhibits went through how cocaine was a cure all drug, being used for toothaches in children, in tonics even for headaches. It has destroyed the country and led to an epediemic that has impacted everyone. The tour of the museum opened their eyes to the harmful nature of the drug, how it is produced and the devestation it causes, to the people and the land.

They left the establishment and without exploring too far came across a tourist friendly Street in which they made friends with a local. Claudia recommended that we visit a club she works at later that night, both the Captain and Admiral were keen. After saying goodbye to Claudia they found an Indian restaurant on the same strip. A much needed change to the local food they had been having, additionally something perfect to warm up in the cold weather conditions. They had a feast and this time, unlike Cusco the Indian food actually was of decent quality. Bellies full they headed home for a bit of a rest before heading out. Without it getting too late and taking precautions at 9ish the Captain and Admiral visited the bar that Claudia had recommended Route 4×9. When they arrived it seemed to be closed and just as they were about to head home, Claudia and her friends rocked up and opened the club.

It was great. Not much could be said about the night. They got home at 2 am after partying with Claudia all night. The following day the Captain woke up with a terrible hangover. He knew he had no one else to blame but himself. The night before mixed with his age resulted in this horrible feeling, that unfortunately he knew too well. Fighting the urge to go back to bed the Captain and Admiral rushed to make the walking tour. They joined the tour just in the nick of time and the first place they visited (well from outside) was the San Pedros Prison. Located only meters away from the main San Pedro Plaza, lies one of the world’s most notorious and corrupt prisons.

What makes San Pedro so interesting are the conditions in which around 1500 of Bolivia’s most hardened criminals live. A society within itself, the prison contains shops and restaurants run by inmates, women and children living voluntarily with imprisoned family members and ironically, some of the country’s busiest cocaine laboratories There are no guards inside San Pedro, and authorities usually don’t intervene unless a significant problem arises or for the twice-daily roll-call.

San Pedro operates its own economy, with inmates required to pay for their own food, housing, medical care and general upkeep. A few prisoners are supported by family members, however many are left to find jobs within the prison in order to survive. Career prospects include, but are not limited to, restaurant owner, bar tender, messenger, chef, medical adviser, hairdresser and of course drug dealer. The bread and butter for many of San Pedro’s inmates is the production and sale of cocaine. Some of the purest cocaine in the world comes from inside the prisons walls, with inmates producing the drug not only to support their own habit, but to sell on the outside as a means to make money.

Since as early as the 1990s, tourists were able to pay their way into San Pedro Prison. A typical San Pedro prison tour consisted of a guide (usually a member of the strongest gang at the time) and a bodyguard taking tourists to the different cell blocks, inside cells, to the cafés, bars and artisans’ stalls for those much sought-after souvenirs and finally to a quiet corner where they could try cocaine if they so desired.

Since 2009, San Pedro has been strictly off limits to tourists, following a tough crack down from authorities in response to the prison’s growing notoriety. There are on average four deaths every month inside the prison from natural causes or from violent attacks.
There also has been a book written by an Australian called Marching Powder which entails his experience in the prison.

As a contrast the walking tour then took them to the markets, where they saw a ton of fresh produce including Potatoes. One of Bolivia’s biggest exports are potatoes. So much so that they grow 2000 varieties of potato in the country.
The ladies in the market are known as Cholitas. Cholitas are women of native heritage, they are ready to distinguish based on how they dressed in layered skirts and shawls, with a bowler hat perched atop their long black braids.

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As far as the hats go at the turn of the 20th century, a large shipment of hats was ordered from Europe for railway workers, but they were too small. Rather than send them back, the hats were given to the local women. Some versions of the story say the women were told wearing the hat would help with fertility, others that a savvy hat merchant marketed them to the women as being all the rage in Europe.

As for the outfits the native men believe the calf to be the sexiest part of a females body and is only reserved to be seen by men that try and court them, that’s why the outfit covers the legs.

They then were taken to the parliamentary section and shown the presidential house, where some very bad things had happened in the past. One story of which was about a president that was helping the poor and was very popular. The rich and Nobel men got worried of this president and started spreading rumours to the poor that he has hidden motives and will increase taxes etc. The poor rather than see how good he was to them decided to believe the rich and attack the presidential house. Breaking in to find the president hiding, they dragged him out. Beat him to death. Shot him. Took off his clothes and tied him to a horse going around the square until finally hanging him naked in the middle of the square.

The next elected president explained that his predecessor had done nothing wrong, he actually was a good guy. The poor people all of a sudden realised their error and said they should erect a structure to honour him. All of a sudden the strikes in Uyuni ceased to surprise them, it was clear that the Bolivians were emotional people. They then were taken once again to the Witches Market, here the tour guide explained the Llama fetus’ and embalmed llamas. He explained that most Bolivians, although Catholic, still carry their old pagan beliefs. They also are extremely superstitious. They explained that when a Bolivian person builds a house they need to make an offering to mother earth (Pacha Mama) and as so they buy a dead llama (which they stated dies of natural causes) and alongside a few offerings do some chants and prayers and burn these on the foundation that the house will be built upon. The size of house dictates the offering i.e baby llama vs. fetus. The bigger the establishment the bigger the sacrifice required. This is where things got extremely dark. Warning. Not a story for the faint hearted.

When the establishment was very big, such as an apartment complex or office building, they would have a certain sect of shamans scour the city looking for homeless people. When they would find some, they would offer free alcohol and sit with them, learn about them, who they are, where they came from, and as they got more drunk, find out if they had any next of kin or people wjo may be looking out for the.. If they discovered that the homeless did not have anyone and were lone wolves, they would tell them about a party in the next few days and invite them to lift their spirits, promising free food and free booze. The homeless people would accept.

The day would come and the homeless person would attend a party at a construction site at night time, where dressed up construction workers would treat them with food and a lot of alcohol. Eventually the homeless person becomes so intoxicated that they pass out. At this point he is placed in a hole with the rest of the offerings to Pachamama and buried alive by pouring cement on them, encasing them in the foundation of the building. They explained it was important for Pacha Mama to receive the soul of the person, therefore it was critical for them to be alive when they poured the concrete.

This had the tour left with jaws wide open. The Captain realised he was holding the Admirals hand tightly. When asked if they believed this actually still happened, the tour guide explained that if anyone knew, then the person committing this crime would be jailed as murder is still a crime. However he couldn’t confidentially say it doesn’t happen and ended the topic by stating that he believed the locals were extremely superstitious.

They then also learnt about Cemetery for elephants. Elephant cemeteries are a type of hotel/bar where alcoholics go to drink themselves to death when they have given up on life. Most offer nothing more than a dingy unlit room with cold cement flooring, bare brick walls, and a tattered old mattress for the wretched to lie on as they slowly pass away. Obviously illegal, elephant cemeteries trade entirely underground. Alcoholics ask the proprietor to lock them inside until they have passed away. Those who change their mind can ring a doorbell and leave, only to end up sleeping on the hard concrete streets right outside.

After such morbid discussion, they took the tour to a small multilevel like carpark, which was a food market/ giant food court, they explained that these types of food and drink markets were present everywhere. They went in to proudly state that because of these, Bolivia is one of the only countries that MacDonalds went bankrupt. Locals would much rather prefer fast food at such establishments rather than Macdonalds. Here they were given a short break in which the Captain and Admiraal had some fresh mixed (9 fruit) juice and a very tasty Avacado sandwich.

For the final landmark they went to San Fransico Church, where the story went that the Spanish got the locals to build the church and allowed them to add native symbols to the church as a way to get them to come to church, this however didn’t work and attendance was still low. They then came up with an idea to use their superstitions to achieve their aim. The Spanish installed mirrors in the church and when locals felt some sort of adrenaline or changes in their body, they were told that it was thier souls escaping and one way to stop losing their soul is to come to church. In the church they installed hundreds of mirrors. Since the natives had never seen mirrors before, they thought that their image in the mirror was in fact their trapped souls. The Spanish then told them that the only way they would be released is if they attended church every Sunday. Come get your soul sessions.

They finished the tour with on a crash course on Bolivian politics. They were taken to a private location where the police or army couldn’t hear them, then they confidently discussed the condition of the state. They learnt the good things about the current president which include: more rights for Cholitas, access to education, allowance for kids in school and subsidised goods for pregnant women.

They also learnt the bad: changing election terms from 4 to 5 years, serving more terms by changing the name of the country, corruption, bias towards coca farmers (which include tax exemptions and the best of conditions – they even have a private commercial airport which is better than the national one) and atrocious environmental crimes, which include deforestation of the Amazon to give more land to the coca farmers (also once you grow coca, the soil cannot sustain any other plant life). They also learnt that once the president was on his way to Europe and rumours spread that he had cocaine onboard, not a single European country allowed his plane to land and he was forced to return to Bolivia for ‘refueling’ before he could fly back to Europe.

With that the tour ended, this was by far the most dark, honest and interesting walking tours the Captain and Admiral had done. Still traumatized from the stories, It had just started raining as they left the safe spot full of knowledge, and went to grab a coffee on Calle Jaen. Calle Jaen is a famous street, renowned for its bright coloured walls and artesian shops. Here they planned the night’s activities.

Another thing that Bolivia is famous for which does not happen anywhere else is the world is Cholita Wrestling. Inspired by America’s WWF and Mexico’s famous lucha libre, Chollita Wrestling is a fighting event, featuring Bolivian women dresses up in traditional outfits battling it out in spectacular fashion. The event only happens on Sunday and Thursday. The Captain and Admiral were lucky that it was Thursday. Just on a whim they were able to book a bus and grab tickets to go and see the spectacle. Luckily they had arrived early and secured a seat in the front row. Over the next few hours they witnessed Cholitas tackle, dodge, slap, choke, jump and fall on their opponents. It was a mix of humor and passion unique with random storylines of referees having favorites and underdogs. There was one point that the Captain got slapped by one of the wrestlers for changing sides half way through the match. The Admiral could not stop laughing. And took some notes for her future interactions with the Captain. It was one of those moments where you think to yourself ‘what the hell am I doing here?’

After the matches and several laughing tummy stitches later they made an escape and rather than taking a bus opted to travel via cable car to their hotel. The guide at the wrestling explained the process which involved changing several lines jumping from the blue to grey to purple line. It sounded manic and confusing. They jumped on and straight away they saw magnificent views of the densely populated city. Everything looked very different from 100 metres up in the sky. A few stops later they realised the system was super simple and within 45 minutes they reached home, which was faster than the bus. They grabbed some dinner at the hotel and quickly ate. They were leaving Bolivia the next day and had to check out at 1am to make the 4am flight to the best of airs, aka Buenos Aires

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Montevideo. Uruguay

by South America

Montevideo. Uruguay

Montevideo

The Gotham City of South America, where Batman can finally retire.

Captains Log Day 17 – 08/09/19 7:50 pm. Buquebus

To explore new lands the Captain and Admiral decided to make a quick getaway from the enormous Argentine city of Buenos Aires and head on a day trip to Uruguay.

Uruguay is the second-smallest nation in South America, after Suriname. They decided to visit the Capital city of Uruguay – Montevideo. A three and a half hour ferry from Buenos Aires they set off very early, nursing a hangover from the night before.
They arrived to the city docks at about 10 am on Sunday morning and started walking around the city towards the centre. What they saw was a ghost town.

Covered in fog and extremely empty and quiet the Captain and Admiral brainstormed adjectives to describe the city as they walked. They came up with dark, grey, cold, windy, delapitated, the city reminded the Captain of Gotham City, with several buildings resembling the Arkham Asylum. All the shops in the city were closed, they figured this being the case because it was Sunday. There was hardly any people on the street, and the people that they did encounter were all homeless and pretty frightening, often carrying a heavy stench of Marijuana. Additionally since they had arrived in another country their Sim cards did not work, they had no data, no maps, they were just walking around aimlessly. They searched for an ATM, as the currency was different to that of Argentina, but with all the shady characters and the absence of normal people they kept walking along the main roads.

At one point the Admiral freaked out as a homeless lady started yelling and following them down the street luckily they turned the corner and she was gone.
The first signs of positivity glistened when they found a sign on the street that detailed free wifi. They both connected and downloaded the maps and information about where they were and what to do.

Turns out they were in the old town and the new city was about 20 minutes walk from where they had sat. They started walking up and noticed that the wifi was still connected, it turned out that the whole city was a free wifi zone, both the old town and the new town.
With the help of some internet they were able to find an open and secure ATM that they could withdraw from.

At the edge/ gate of the new city centre they came across a crew that was filming a movie. Intrigued by the film crew and the set, the Captain much to the Admiral’s dissatisfaction sat on a bench near the filming. On the bench next to them but facing away sat a tall man, warpped up in a green Scarfe and hoodie. A crew member then took a photo of the man, and turned to the Captain and Admiral and said ‘he thinks he’s Keanu Reeves’ they all laughed. A moment later the tall man whose face was mostly covered with the scarfe turned towards them and spoke a few words in spanish thinking he was speaking to locals. The Captain and Admiral stared back blankly (because they can’t understand Spanish but also because from what they could see the man had an uncanny resemblance to Keanu Reeves) but were rescued by the crew member who explained that if they wanted to sit there they could, they would be in the movie and that they shouldn’t look at the camera. The Admiral not wanting to ruin the scene quickly stood up to walk away with the Captain reluctantly in tow.

They continued to explore the city, now the landscape had changed, the city was more modern with shops, cafes, cars and most importantly people, although nothing compared to the volumes of people they had seen in other countries. There wre many large open spaces with statutes and tons of homeless people. They strolled up and down the city checking it all out before grabbing lunch at a very nice cafe.
Like ducks in a public park lake, their bellies were full of bread as they headed out looking for more hustle and bustle. Unfortunately although it was lunch time there were still minimal people on the streets. They headed back to the main square to meeting spot where they would start the city walking tour.

The tour started with an overview of the city and despite their paranoia they were informed that Uruguay is ranked first in Latin America in democracy, peace, low perception of corruption, e-government, and is first in South America when it comes to press freedom, size of the middle class and prosperity. It also is the safest country in Latin America. Gosh the Captain and Admiral felt pretty noob at this moment.

Additionally on a per-capita basis, Uruguay contributes more troops to United Nations peacekeeping missions than any other country. It tops the rank of absence of terrorism and nearly 95% of Uruguay’s electricity comes from renewable energy, mostly hydroelectric facilities and wind parks. Uruguay Uragoodguy.

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As they walked around they discovered that Uruguay was a fortress city with walls all around it. It was a very strategic city to stop the Portuguese moving from Brazil into the Spanish occupied South American territories. We also heard how the South American countries were split, with the kings of Spain and Portugal going to the pope with a map and asking him to allocate the rule amongst the countries. Coincidentally the Pope was Spanish at the time and allocated most of Latin America to the Spanish with only Brazil going to Portugal.

The Independence of Uruguay, was given by agreement between Brazil, Argentina and Britain rather than any revolution or war.

As they walked they learnt something controversial which was that although Argentina claims to have created the Tango, they believe that the rythm came from Argentina but that Uruguay created the dance.
They learnt about the president and how he is able to walk around the city, often having coffee at local cafes, without any security detail or getting hassled. The country has a small population of only 3 million people and everything is pretty relaxed compared to other South American cities.

They walked around learning more about the liberal and progressive laws of the country. In 2012 they legalised abortion, making it the only country in South America to be Pro choice. Since then there has been 0 abortion related deaths.

To reduce crime and cripple the black market they also legalised Marijuana. Locals in the country are allowed 6 plants per family, the Pharmacy also sells state produced marijuana limited to 10 grams per week per person.
They also have legalised gay marriages. Being the second country in South America to do so.

All of the above only being applicable for local citizens of the country.
Other interesting facts included that Uruguay was one of the first countries to allow women to vote in 1913 and one of the first countries to allow divorce.
With all that information the tour was just about to end. This is when they found out something that shocked them to the point that the Admiral stopped paying any attention to the tour, her surroundings and even breathing. The guide casually mentioned that Keanu Reeves was going to be in town next week shooting a Netflix show called ‘Conquest’.

The Admiral started spasming. Was the tall man they had seen earlier Keanu? His face was covered and he spoke Spanish. Had they just seen John Wick made a fool of themselves laughing at him.
The Admiral started googling ‘Does Keanu speak Spanish?’ – Yes, ‘how tall is Keanu?’ 1.85 cm.

Everything checked out. They were convinced it was him. They started freaking out. They said goodbye to the tour and headed back to where the film was being shot. Heart rates higher than they had ever been this trip, rushing to see Keanu. They got to the area to find that the set had been packed up. They were heartbroken and part of them was still freaking out. They decided to walk towards the Raddison hotel where the Captain assumed he would be staying. Just as they turned the corner they were able to see the set in the distance and as if all their wishes had come true they rushed to the set. The filming was being done so they couldn’t get a proper look at the actor, they did however make friends with two of the extras standing on the side. After having a chat with them their hearts sank as they found out that the filming is not for a Netflix series but rather a local film and that Keanu would I’m fact be coming next week.

Slightly devastated they walked towards the set to confirm. Once again he had his hoodie on, but his face was exposed enough for the captain to confirm, it was not Keanu. It in fact looked nothing like him. They had been noobed yet again.
After a rollercoaster of emotion, with lows and highs they could now put this all to rest, much like John Wick had to for his little puppy.
They had one last landmark to see before they headed back to Argentina, it was a tourist novelty but no trip is complete without it. A photograph with a giant sign of Montevideo.
They ventured out of the city without realising that the sign was 10 km away from the city centre, there was no way they could make that hike and return in time by foot. They quickly jumped into a taxi and headed down the beach front promenade towards the sign, following the ocean as they drove.

Quickly they took an obligatory selfie, grabbed some food and headed back to catch the 7pm ferry. On the drive back the fog covered the city once again, leaving a backdrop of white and the same eery feeling that they felt when they had arrived.
An adventurous day came to an end as the Captain and Admiral boarded the vessel, marking Montevideo and Uruguay as another completed city.

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Puerto Iguazu. Argentina

by South America

Puerto Iguazu. Argentina

Puerto Iguazu

The city we have Water’fallin in love with

Captains Log Day 21 – 11/09/19 8:25 pm. Aerolineas Argentina Flight AR2727

The Captain and Admiral were off on another adventure of epic proportions. back to jungle life they went off to visit one of the Seven natural wonders of the world – Iguazu Falls.

Iguazu Falls are waterfalls located on the borders of Paraguay, Argentina and Brazil. The Iguazu waterfall system makes up 3.2 kilometres of the Iguzu River and consists of 275 waterfalls.

The name Iguazu originates from two words that mean ‘water’ and ‘big’. These words don’t quite capture the magnificence of this natural wonder. Iguazu Falls was declared one of the Seven Wonders of Nature in 2011.
Located two hours by flight or about 1,500 kilometres away in a town of Argentina called Puerto Iguazu. The little city with 4,000 lucky residents sits amidst the tropical Atlantic rainforest.

The Captain and Admiral woke up extremely hungover as the night before in Buenos Aires, they had had a fancy dinner experience, which included free flowing wine, followed by an after party, followed by a night cap. Luckily for them the domestic airport that would take them to Iguazu was only a 15 minute ride from their Buenos Aires accommodation, located just at the outskirts of the CBD. After a short 2 hour flight they disembarked at a very small airport, instantly feeling a wave of heat. The temperature in the tropical jungle was 36 degrees Celcius and they had just flown from a city where the Mercury had barely touched 22 degrees the whole week. Jackets off and sweating instantly, they were able to grab a taxi that would take them to their hotel.

When dropping them off, the taxi driver advised that 500 metres down the road from where they were lodging was a tourist attraction, where they could see three countries Paraguay, Argentina and Brazil. After checking in they walked down to the point.
It was exactly as described, a lookout point over a river with three bodies of land on each side.

In the middle of the lookout point was the Argentine obolix, painted in light blue, white and yellow, representing the Argentina flag colours. Likewise from the observation deck they could see similar structures, resembling the country flag colours on each of the bodies of land. This point was the meeting spot for three nations. Hanging out for a while, doing some touristy things, it was not too long until the novelty faded. They walked back to the hotel and tried to kill some time before heading out again for dinner, only venturing out when the sun went down so the area would cool down. It did and it seemed that the mosquitoes had the same intentions. it was back to jungle life and they sprayed themselves once again with mossie repellent and headed for a walk. They were surprised to see how lively the city became, the whole city seemed to come to life, there were restaurants and bars as well as tons of souvenir shops and street vendors out and about. It was a strip that felt long, going for about 5 blocks, which was a lot more than the Captain had anticipated.
Much to the Admiral’s annoyance, the Captain made it a point to visit every store to make sure he had an indexed memory of all the souvenirs sold in the city.

Since they only had one night in town, the Captain and Admiral had decided to book the best voted restaurant in town, a place where just the name oozes fancyness, Agva. They were not conservative when ordering, wanting to try the local specialties and as well as the grill. They ordered a platter of entrees which included Surubi, which was a river fish local to the region, a corn pie, also a regional dish, Heart of Palm and Yuka. All of it was presented nicely and tasted ok. For the mains they ordered the Lamb T-Bone and the Chicken roulade. Both these dishes were terrible. The Lamb was overcooked and very fatty and the chicken was just lathered in sauce. They were extremely disappointed and like spoilt children started reminiscing about food back in Melbourne. They finished up and strolled bank to the hotel, hoping for an early night as the next day was going to be phenomenal.
The Captain and Admiral awoke fresh and excited about the day ahead, although due to jungle duties (applying sunscreen and insect repellent) as well as doing the checkout dance, it ended up taking longer than usual. Just as the Captain poured himself coffee and toasted a slice of bread, the enthusiastic tour guide Miguel arrived.

As soon as they sat in the bus they could tell that something was wrong, the rest of the members of the tour spoke Spanish. Their tour was to be in Spanish! Luckily Miguel spoke great English and assured them not to worry, he said he would be doing the tour in both Spanish and English for them.
They drove along to the natural park, learning many things about the falls. There is a legend that explains how the falls were created. A god was to marry Naipi, a beautiful woman. This woman canoed away with her lover, angering the god. The god was enraged and sliced the river, which not only created the falls but condemned the two lovers to fall for eternity. We also learnt that Iguazu Falls is taller than, and twice as wide as Niagara Falls. It also has the highest annual average flow, more than Niagara Falls. Iguazu river is wider than Lake Victoria on the Zambian/Zimbabwean border. However due to the outcrops that interrupts its water falls, it is considered smaller.

With all this all knowledge, the anticipation and expectation grew significantly for the Captain and Admiral. They got off the bus and purchased the tickets to enter the park. As soon as they entered Miguel the tour guide briefed them on the day’s activities and what they should expect.

The first thing they had to do was board an open air train, that would take them to the most impressive waterfall called ‘The Devil’s Throat’. They jumped on the train which proceeded to go deep into the rainforest. As they chugged along on the very slow train they discovered that that the rainforest delta surrounding that they were in contained 2,000 species of plants.
As they were going along the Captain noticed a weirdd animal lurking deep in the forest. He had seen a few glimpses of it and mentioned it to Miguel. He explained that it was some sort of Racoon/ Possum. Miguel did tell them the name of this creature twice but both times they did not catch it. The Captain and Admiral named them BushPigs.

He said they are seen everywhere around here and would often come up to tourists that are eating and steal their food. He also explained that they often got aggressive when they didn’t get food and have been known to bite tourists. He said they all should be careful not to entertain them by offering food. He also said that they would see plenty of BushPigs walking around.

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After 30 minutes they disembarked at a small station with a metal mesh path trail emerging from one side. The metal trail was about 1.5 meters wide with railings on each side and disappeared into the jungle. They were asked to follow that trail and in 1.2 kilometres they would get to see the devil’s throat waterfall. The Sun stated to rise and the temperature was slowly rising as they walked. Noticing that the jungle shade was providing some cool breeze. They came to a little breakpoint in the Forrest and saw their first BushPig up close. The Captain would describe it less like a racoon but more a cross between a possum and an anteater. They took some photos.

Slowly in about 200 meters the landscape changed, they were no longer walking in the forest, but rather on a path that was crossing a river. Stumped foundations held the path up as under the mesh was flowing water. The path continued going over rivers and streams. In the water they saw tortortoises and catfish.

After about 20 minutes of waking over streams and lakes they started to see a wall of white in the horizon. It resembled a white cloud in the distance, they also could hear distant sounds of running water. This was strange as the lake and streams they had been walking on had been calm waters. They continued to walk towards the white wall, which now has rainbow steaks running through it and birds circling overhead. At the end of the path an observation opening appeared. They’re had been many people at the observation deck and it was not until done people moved, that they could get a clear view of what was on the other side.

Devil’s Throat. What they saw instantly made their jaws drop, they let out a gasp, followed by whispering words such as ‘jesus, oh my god and wow’. It was huge. It was phenomenal. It was overwhelming.

One again they found that words or photographs or videos cannot do any justice to what thier eyes saw. It was massive, the sheer volume of water, the pressure, the sound and not to forget the mist. They stood in awe, feeling goosebumps. It was a as if they went through several phases when standing and looking at the devil’s throat, these included feeling overwhelmed followed by shock and finally awe. It was no surprise to learn that when Eleanor Roosevelt, the former USA President Roosevelt’s wife visited the falls. She exclaimed, “Poor Niagara,’ when she first laid eyes on Iguazu Falls.

The U-shaped chasm contains 14 waterfalls that plunge more than 350 feet. The mist that rises from the falls at Devil’s Throat reaches up to 490 feet at times. They needed to get back and meet the tour guide at the rendezvous point, and as much as they didn’t want to leave that time was getting close, they headed back.

Miguel then pointed out some stumps in the water and explained that previously that used to be a walkway. In the 2000s a massive storm happened and swept the walkway away, he mentioned that when that storm occured, 39 million liters if water gushed through per second. They continued along the walking trail getting to see many other waterfalls in the region. Each of them stunning and each bigger than any the Captain and Admiral had seen ever before, yet after seeing the Devil’s Throat, seemed small. Each of the Falls were just Mesmerising. Along the hike they got to see many smaller Falls from a variety of different angles. Additionally as they were walking on the jungle path they saw beautiful butterflies, birds and lizards. They discovered that the Falls can be seen in many movies including: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Miami Vice and Mr. Mago

Once they had completed the hike of the upper trail Miguel took them to an area where they could have lunch. Here there was a few school cafeteria type food stations, you picked a meal, grabbed it from the Bain Marie and then paid for it at the end. The shed was packed but the captain and admiral were able to get a seat inside. A big relief since it was overt thirty degrees outside along with a dozen BushPigs walking around trying to steal the lunch off tourists. Staying safe from the Bushpigs the Admiral and Captain met Miguel who explained the post lunch activities. They had two options; hike the lower trail of the waterfalls and the other was take a jungle ride followed boat ride to see the waterfalls. His recommendation was option 2, doing the jungle and boat adventure. Miguel advised that they would get wet but they had some dry bags.

Captain and Admiral decided that despite the steep cost and the inconvenience of taking a flight back with drenched clothes, they wanted to do das boot – YOLO.

They headed to the jungle station where a open jeep picked them up. The guide onboard briefed them about the jungle, and safety proceedures on the vessel. He explained how branches of sticks could hit passengers sitting on the side of the jeep. Since the Admiral was sitting at the front on the edge it made her a prime victim. Surely enough 5 minutes into the ride a tree branch smacked the Admiral in the face. She was ok it missed her eye and may have left a bruise but nothing could have been done. They continued on the jeep with the Admiral paranoid and suffering from PTSD from the incident. They continued to drive deeper into the forest, on the way explaining the wildlife. They were able to see a toucan and a big lizard in the wild.

Finally they reached the last stop of the Jeep ride, this was the dock for the boat ride. It was down a path that decended a mountain. They walked down, thinking to themselves how much it would suck to walk up these steps later. As they reached the bottom they had a massive realisation, the so called boats mentioned were not a cruise ship as they had imagined, rather speed boats! They got given some dry bags and the captain advised to take off his tee shirt. When asked will they get ‘very wet’ the response was ‘Si’.

Upon the boat things seemed calm as they passed the Brazilian border, however this changed ‘rapidly’ as they got closer to the waterfall. Pushing the boat against the current, they went against some strong water flow. The boat was bouncing and being thrashed by the white water rapids and the Captain was freaking out, holding on for dear life. The Admiral consoling him by explaining what to do if they capsized. This advice was not well received as the Captain freaked out even more. Soon in calmer waters they stopped for some photographs. They had gotten close to the falls and the view was beautiful from the water. The pilot of the boat then asked everyone to put those phones away, things were going to get wet. The pilot then started inching towards the waterfall, getting deeper into the mist, little mist droplets landing on them, this proved anticlimactic as he then went full speed against the water current right under the waterfall. They got drenched! Everyone on the boat was screaming as the water hit them It was like a super high pressure shower. Invigorating

Getting soaked by the waterfall in the heat was refreshing and scary, none of them could open their eyes due the to pressure and all they could do was scream. In the brief moments that they did manage to open their eyes they saw that they had been piloted right under the waterfall. They sat getting soaked under one of the biggest waterfalls in the world! It was an awesome experience! Soaking wet all the way to their underwear they reached back on shore hoping the jungle heat would do its job and dry off as they headed back to the tour meeting spot.

With that the tour ended and they said goodbye to the BushPigs and the most phenomenal and stunning waterfalls they had ever witnessed. They jumped on the bus still wet and headed back to the hotel, picking up some snacks to have whilst they waited for an airport pickup.

A few hours later they were airborne again heading back to Buenos Aires, reminiscing on the day they had and what they felt and experienced at the Iguazu waterfalls. A life achievement and one of the 7 natural wonders unlocked.

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El Calefate. Patagonia. Argentina

by South America

El Calefate. Patagonia. Argentina

El Calefate. Patagonia. Argentina

An Iceberg that Sank our Fears and Froze our Hearts with its Icy Magnificence.

Captains Log Day 25 – 15/09/19 4:46 pm. Aerolineas Argentina Flight AR1875

The Captain and Admiral’s journey so far had been nothing short of amazing. With many epic sights, huge feats and adventures along the way.
This was going to be their last big adventure and boy it was going to be one huge finale.
They were off to the town of El Calafate to hike along the Perito Moreno Glacier.The Perito Moreno glacier is considered by many to be the 8th wonder of the world. It is one of the most spectacular sights in the Argentine Patagonia. Located in the Los Glaciares National Park, the Perito Moreno glacier is one of the largest of the 48 glaciers emanating from Patagonia’s Southern Ice Field.Perito Moreno glacier is the third largest reserve of fresh water on the planet, surpassed only by the Antarctic and Greenland ice sheets.
It is gigantic, being 252 square kilometres it is 30 kilometers in length, about 5 kilometres wide, and the average height is a staggering 73 metres!To visit the glacier you need to fly south to the small village of El Calafate, which is approximately 78 kilometers to the west of Perito Moreno glacier The town sits only 1500 Kilometers from Antarctica and is the second most southern settlement with Ushuaia only 500 km away being the most southern.
The Captain and Admiral had arrived in El Calefate at around 2pm. They had come, not only to view this magnificent wonder but hike across its belly.This was going to be an epic feat, and one they had butterflies and nerves about. They had researched about the glacier in the past and found out that, the glacier had claimed numerous victims who had fallen into cravaces and others who had ventured too close to the rupturing ice. Additionally Perito Moreno Glacier sees winds that can blow up to speeds of 130 kilometres/hour, at times shooting shards of Ice, aka Ice Bullets.
Upon decent they could see the ice capped mountains and barren landscape. The absence of any human life was reflected by the airport as there was nothing there. With one of the 4 people manning the airport. They bought some tickets to the shuttle and stepped outside, feeling the fresh and freezing air hit them in face. Boarding the shuttle quickly they got dropped off at the hotel which was 2.5 km from the tiny city centre (more like a strip of hostels, souvenir shops and supermarkets).The hotel that the Captain had booked was very nice he had found it for super cheap on a random website and booked for 2 nights. Upon checking in there was some drama. When they checked in the reception informed them that the room was all paid for. Then they get a call from reception.. not paid for? confused they went to reception had been advised the reservation is cancelled? Lots of arguing later the hotel finally said sorry we can’t help. You need to pay again to us if you want to stay. After sitting trying to contact the online booking agency, the hotel reception came over and said they will deal with the company and that they could stay without payment. The check-in turned out to be very stressful.After that song and dance the Captain and Admiral were keen to explore, however with nothing around they took a taxi to the glacier museum (Glaciarium) and the ice bar (Glacier bar). The Glaciarium was a modern interpretive galciological centre, and one of the few Glacier Museums in the world. It demonstrated the understanding of glaciers and environmental awareness are our main subjects.The exhibits included models, dioramas, photographs, screens. It was pretty cool.After that they headed to the Glacier bar. Inside they were met by a guide in the staging area. The Captain and Admiral were given a jacket and some gloves, they were also advised to keep their glasses and that inside they had 25 minutes. They entered the ice bar which was basically like a giant freezer, with an ice igloo, ice chairs and ice structures inside. It was also Very cold, despite their jackets and gloves they were freezing, and rightfully so as the temptretue was -6.6 degrees Celsius. All of a sudden the 25 minute time limit made sense.
Inside they were given an ice glass and told there were only spirts offered due to freezing conditions and they bring in soft drink when they take people into the bar for 25 minutes every half hour. Also music to the Captain’s ears was that it was unlimited drinks for 25 mins. To maximize efficiency they skulled the first vodka lemonade in their ice glasses and followed these up with 4 more drinks. All of a sudden the ice bar was not too cold anymore.Warm, fuzzy and slightly intoxicated, their time was up and they had to leave to the (slightly) warmer environment outside to take the shuttle to the town where they had an exciting dinner reservation at 8 p.m. There they would get to try the rare and very expensive King Crab (super hard to catch and only found in Alaska and around the Paragonia ice sheets) as well as the famous Patagonian lamb, which again was only found in this region in the world. They walked around hunting for some gloves, which they had not brought with them and had found out were mandatory on the glacier hike. They vistied a heap of souvenirs shops, with the Admiral once again exhausted and the Captain excited with things to buy, they also were able to hire some gloves before heading for dinner at Mi Rancho resteraurant.
The dinner was delicious, the crab was in stuffed pasta form and did not taste like the traditional crab, having a much stronger taste. The Lamb, in a stew dish was hearty, warm, super tender, just falling apart. Perfect for the freezing weather outside. They were advised what made the lamb special to this region was the diet of the animal, only grazing on dry shrubs and local plants, making them fatty and with a specific taste.
Absolutely stuffed they headed back to the shuttle stand and waited for about an hour before accepting their fate, realising the shuttle service had ended, and taking a taxi back to the hotel.
At the hotel, the reception called them over and presented them with a letter that described why they had to pay for the hotel room again.

Long story.. here is a summary

1) The Captain had booked this room at a 4 star hotel

2) They had booked via one booking site called Amoma.com

3) They had booked via Amoma because the rates they were offering was half the price as other booking sites

4) Earlier that day (yes that same day) Amoma declared bankruptcy. There was news of 100s of people worldwide that had been affected. This means Amoma will not be able to pay the hotels, even though they have charged people.

This left people around the world in the same situation – bookings were cancelled when this was announced 10 hrs ago. When they checked in it was fine but an hour later the hotel got a cancellation email. We did not get this email

5) The hotel tried to contact Amoma and Amoma sent an email about what had happened. Saying all reservations worldwide are cancelled

6) The hotel had to charge the Captain again and have gave them a copy of the email to help with insurance claim.

Now the Captain and Admiral have to get insurance to recover the money they paid to Amoma. With all that drama complete they headed to bed, although both of them struggled to fall asleep, tomorrow they were off to complete a frightening and exciting feat. The new day dawned and the Captain and Admiral woke up feeling the nerves. They got ready, layering on several items of clothing and preparing for the day’s adventure.

After a large breakfast, they awaited the bus pickup that would take them to the frontier.
Along the way they witnessed scenery on a level that we have never seen before, the bluest of lakes and lagoons, 360 degrees of ice capped mountains, shrubs and dry, desert like elements on the step of the mountain, the hour leading to the glacier Park was nothing short of a visual feast.

Finally as they turned the last corner the driver made an announcement and with that phenomenal glacier came into vision. It was huge, even from the distance that they saw it from. Kilometers away it towered like a metropolitan skyscraper, running across the water as far as the eye could see.

They disembarked the bus in awe of the massive structure floating in the water, the guides provided an itinerary of the day’s activities as well as being given plastic bags and told that there are no bins in the park, all rubbish needs to be taken back to town for disposal. They were also warned about the wildlife which included what to do if they encountered a puma or yellow jacket wasp that were in the region.

Here they boarded a boat and sailed in front of the breathtaking south wall of the Perito Moreno Glacier. It was huge. They took selfies as they braved the icy winds, shadowed by the ice wall beside them, in the water mini icebergs floating like croutons in soup.

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When they arrived on the other side, they were welcomed by a guide and led to a small shelter. After checking everyone’s details (they were a group of no more than 12 people), the guides lead them along the shore towards the edge of the glacier.

On the beach they learnt some more interesting information about the glacier including: The ice shelf protects the kingdom from the Wildlings and White Walkers from beyond the Wall. It protects Argentina from the ravenous Chileans just on the other side.
Scientists calculate that the Perito Moreno glacier is approximately 18,000 years old.

Global warming means that most glaciers are retreating. Subsequently, melting polar ice caps and glacial recession in the Himalayas. However, the Perito Moreno glacier is an exception – it’s advancing, moving forward around 2 meters a day.

Every 4-5 years, the glacier grows to a point where it blocks the L-shaped Argentine Lake and the water pressure builds to the point that the dam part of the glacier explodes (last happened in 2017).
Although the Captain and Admiral did not witness a major rupture, they saw the awesome spectacle of a ice piece breaking and falling Into the lake. It sounded like thunder as the ice crashed into the water.

After a brief lesson about the glacier the guide led the convoy to a tent just off the beach touching the ice. Here the guides will gave everyone a set of crampons and explained how to use them.
Crampons are basically a set of metal dentures with an overbite on the bottom of your shoes. You press your feet down and they bite into the ice to keep you from sliding down the glacier. The guides put these on for the adventurers.
They were also provided helmets and asked to put on thier gloves, not for the cold but rather to make sure that if they fell on the glacier they would not hurt their hands on the ice which can be quite sharp.

Ready to go, they set off on a 2-hour minitrekking circuit, single file following the instructors. The guide even mentioned one wrong step could result in falling into a cravace due to the ice being hollow.
Walking on the glacier was interesting, they had to employ different techniques based on the inclination, i.e if they were going up a slope they had to walk like ducks with their feet facing outwards. If downhill then knees bent and leaning back. In any case they had to stamp their feet with every step ensuring the crampons really grabbed the ice and had to walk with thier legs apart otherwise the crampons could get caught on each other and they would fall (he explained this often happened)

On the hike the group witnessed some incredible scenery around the glacier including streams, little lagoons, ravines, crevaces and some gorgeous ice structures. The ice surface was uneven but firm which only added to the uniqueness of the experience.
On the way they stopped for photographs and even to drink water from the glacier. The Captain also ate a heap of ice by just sitting down and breaking it off the glacier. The Admiral not amused.
At one point during the walk group had stopped to take photos, just as it was the Captain and Admiral’s turn to pose, an ice shelf collapsed in the distance, with a thunderous noise coming from above and behind them. The Admiral, Captain and their guide freaked out! They thought there had been an avalanche! Calmed by the guide their hearts had aged by 5 years.

The hiking up and down the glacier was strenuous and awkward, but it was also super rewarding, with the picturesque surrounding and the majestic ice formations. The experience was unforgettable, the scenery just like a postcard.
Surprisingly it got very hot on the glacier, possibly due to the exertion and the Admiral stopped to shed layers like a garden lizard.

At the end of the hike, the guide took them to a table on the ice that had been set up with Whiskey and chocolate. The guide went away with his ice pick and came back with water and some Ice that he had chiseled off the glacier. Here they had whiskey on the rocks to celebrate a rewarding finale to a very memorable and epic experience.
As they walked back to the boat with smiles on their faces, a giant killer yellow jacket wasp came and sat on the Admiral.

It was huge, she stood very still and called out to the Captain, who had no idea what to do. They just stood there until the wasp finished circling them and eventually flew off.
Fun fact: The Yellow Jacket wasp is that it can sting multiple times and has a strong mandible for biting. It continues to attack untill it is satisfied its target has witnessed enough pain or dead.

Super releived (and the Captain slightly disappointed) they reached the shelter where they were able to have some lunch which they had brought with them, whilst marvelling at the massive glacier in front of them. Finally it was time to board the boat.
They crossed the river passing in front of the magnificent face of the glacier and boarded the bus which took them to view the glacier shelf from a viewpoint. They were able to explore and view the Glacier’s balconies during a whole hour and got the best views and landscapes of the National Park before leaving this beautiful place and completing a one of a kind experience!

They headed back to the hotel exhausted, they talked about the day they had, it was by far one of the most spectacular days and experiences ever for both the Captain and Admiral.
They reached home and decided where else they could go to try some of that delicious local lamb, and with some googling found the best steakhouse in the city. Here they had a very large cut of lamb (so much so that the Admiral had not idea how to dissect it). Once again it was super tasty.

At the same establishment, behind them sat a team of Americans, they all had Jackets saying Airbus PerLan mission 2. When the Captain googled this, we found out that airbus was in the region trying to beat the highest altitude record for a glider, which was set by them a year earlier. Pretty impressive.
Returning back the hotel exhausted and bellies full, they called it a night, watching Kill Bill in Spanish until they fell asleep.

The last day could be summarised by one word. Waiting. They woke up and had breakfast during which they find out that their flight back to Buenos Aires had been delayed by an hour. They sat in the lobby killing time waiting for the shuttle bus to arrive. Here they watched Argentina lose the basketball World cup to Spain and chatting to a Brazillian man who believed the Amazon is actually not on fire and the media is overreacting…….

Needless to say the Admiral felt like there was a fire inside her and she wanted to put it out by setting the man straight. The Captain Tranquilo’ed her till the man left the lobby.
Despite the flight delay the airport shuttle was on time and they headed to the airport for another 4 hour wait before they flew out of the village town of El Calefate.
They said goodbye to Patagonia and the edge of the world. They left with some unforgettable moments, imprints of the most beautiful scenery embedded in their minds and stories of an adventure like no other.

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Buenos Aires. Argentina

by South America

Buenos Aires. Argentina

Buenos Aires. Argentina

The European Oasis hidden within a South American facade.

Captains Log Day 26 – 16/09/19 1:58 pm. Sky Air – Flight 508

These series of events take place after the Captain and Admiral left La Paz Bolivia. It contains references to other adventures taken during the Captain’s and Admiral’s Argentinian occupation
The Captain and Admiral arrived in the metropolis city of Buenos Aires after what felt like escaping a series of witches and villains in leaving La Paz Bolivia. Upon their decent, the size of the city was evident from the sparkling lights that littered the landscape. It had been a long journey to get there with the Captain and Admiral, waking up at 12.30am and leaving at 3am, they jumped across 2 taxis and 2 flights and 3 countries.

After a much more rigorous security and immigration procedure (one that contrasted La Paz like salt contrasts sugar) they got to the airport area in which they could buy SIM cards and withdraw Argentinian Pesos.
The sleep deprived duo needed some nourishment and in the airport shone two golden arches and what some travellers may call a cardinal sin, they gravitated towards them.

After experimenting with new and exotic McDonald’s flavours, they figured out how to get an uber and headed to their accommodation. They had severey underestimated the size of the city and the commute took 2 hours. On the way the lavish and massive buildings caught their eyes, the city architecture resembling sights that would be found in Italy, France and in Russia. The buildings decorated with pillars, facades covered with statues of angels and flowers. It was as if all the buildings from different European countries were placed in a cocktail mixer and sprinkled across Buenos Aires city. They were exhausted and broken as they checked into a beautiful self serviced apartment in the district of Palermo Soho. An area known for its bars and nightlife.

The Captain and Admiral had researced the city and found that the streets only came to life after 9 or 10 pm, in which people would have dinner and head to bars for drinks. It was 6pm and with a strategy in mind they took a stealthy nap agreeing to wake up at 8pm to explore the city.
The Captain did wake up at the agreed time, however the exhaustion got the better of him and despite the buzz that was happening outside the window he asked the Admiral if it was ok to sleep till the morning light. They agreed and even if it meant they lost a day of exploring it was very important to get a recharge.
18 hours later they arose. It was 10 am and the Captain and Admiral needed to make a wild dash to the walking tour of Recolleta, which was the central district of Buenos Aires.

They took a taxi to the meeting point of the walking tour, only arriving minutes before it was scheduled to start. On the way it was clear to see that almost everyone had a cup with a straw sticking out of it in their hands. From young to old they saw people drinking a mysterious liquid in a abnormal shaped glass, all with a straw present and a green herbaceous layer of what looked like kryptonite dust.It was when they joined the tour and the tour guide was also partaking in this act, did the Captain go to inquire what it was. The tour guide kindly explained that they were drinking Matê, which was kind of like a matcha green tea. She offered a taste, but described the one she had made was not the ideal one since she had wet the krypton dust aka Matê powder. She also said that young and old consume many many cups of this a day, and this would be a common activity that they would see throughout their stay in Buenos Aires. With that the group segregated and they started the walking tour in which they learnt that Buenos Aires Province districts, constitutes the fourth-most populous metropolitan area in the Americas, with a population of around 15.6 million.
Unlike any other walking tour the Captain had been on the guide started the tour with the fact that the tour would not be a complete history lesson about the city and this was because the City’s history is very recent, with the key years being 1880 to 1930.

The guide, who’s name was Riccardo went on to explain that, like the other South American countries Argentina was another Spanish occupied colony however unlike the other countries such as Peru and Chile etc, there was not much importance placed on Argentina at the time of the colonisation. They had very unimpressive churches and the whole country was comprised of dirt roads with minimal infrastructure expenditure by the Spanish. The guide at that point showed them a very ordinary looking church and asked them to compare these to others throughout South America. It was honestly very unimpressive and basic.

The Spanish had eradicated the local population early In the occupation regime, with minimal resistance they left the country alone.
They walked past a giant statue which Riccardo explained was a statue of José de San Martín or El Libertador of Argentina, Chile and Peru. San Martin was a Spanish-Argentine general and the prime leader of the southern and central parts of South America’s successful struggle for independence from the Spanish Empire who served as the Protector of Peru.

Riccardo then went on to say the real history of the country started with the golden years of Argentina from 1880 to 1930. In this period all the districts united and formed a single country as well as a government.
In these golden years the economy and prosperity of Argentina skyrocketed. Riccardo even used his fingers to show an exponential graph, reflecting that the economy went from 0 to a 100 in those 50 years. He revisited how newly formed government combined with newly discovered exports in the agriculture industries as well as the invention of cold storage transport all contributed to a cocktail of success for the country.
With the new found prosperity the development of the country was in overdrive. The country’s leaders at that time had an obsession with Europe and believed that counties in Europe were the epitomie of class and success. The Argentinian government then started construction of buildings all around the city with and with that obsession in mind wanted them all to look like temples from greece, theatres from Vienna and palaces from Rome.

It was at that point the surroundings and the architecture that they had witnessed on their way to the city all made sense.
It was a mish mash of Europe’s finest, taking Roman, Italian and French building architecture seen in the midst of other less impressive buildings.

Riccardo then explained how immigration was massive in the golden years because not only did the leaders want European looking buildings, they wanted Europeans to build them. With a massive influx of Italian immigrants, the country changed forever, including the influence on language and cuisine. Immigration was so big that in the 1916 consensus, 50 percent of the country’s inhabitants were immigrants, predominantly Italians.
The showcase of grandeur continued with Riccardo showing lavish buildings and explaining how this was a home for 1 family and contained 140 rooms. He explained that most of the huge buildings you see were mostly houses for the aristocrats in the past highlighting the wealth and prosperity of the inhabitant. Now he said the families had sold these to embassies and other businesses as it was not viable for families to maintain 100 plus bedroom premises. The one we had visited was the defence head quarters in the past, but over time Riccardo explained the military funding had been cut, and half of the building was leased by independent businesses. When questioned why the funding had been cut, Riccardo said this was something that would discuss later in the tour.

The tour stopped for a quick break/ empanadas and coffee stop. Rcicardo took this moment to state that this was the end of the good part to the story of Argentina and the next half of the tour would be the story of Argentina’s fall from grace.
The political unrest was the catalyst to the exponential graph plateau. Riccardo explained how a military coup, transformed the golden years and the country fell into a dictatorship followed by a democracy and then dictatorship followed by democracy, it was not a while until they reached a steady government. This was the contributing factor to why the government had ultimately cut the military funding. The coups in the past had taken the country to the brink of destruction, the coups had been so detrimental that the democratic governments had stripped the powers of the army.

Riccardo even mentioned that being part of the army in Argentina was not considered a prestigious thing like many other countries, rather the opposite. In schools kids are taught how much harm the army has caused and not encouraged as a good career option.
The tour was then directed to a memorial wall and statue that had hundreds of names engraved and two guards standing by it. Riccardo explained the story of Fawkner Island war. He said in 1982 the country was in bad shape the military dictator was losing popularity due to the terrible poverty and conditions in the country. He had a brilliant idea, sitting across the Patagonian coast was a small island that had been occupied by England. This was a small island with less than 2000 inhabitants a place known as Falkland island. To gain popularity the dictator decided to attack that island and win it back from the British for Argentina. As Riccardo stated ‘It was the Stupidest war in History’. Not only were the soldiers outnumbered, they were malnourished, inexperienced and drafted from hot regions of the country, asked to go fight in freezing conditions. They did not even have proper gear.

Needless to say they lost tragically. Heaps of lives were lost. The only good be thing that came out of it was that the people lost all faith in the ruler and the following year he was overthrown.
Strangely Argentinian people still believe that the Fawkner islands was a part of their country lost. They believe it is unjustly owned by Britain and have romanticism associated with the loss of it. It has tragic poems and songs written about it, even appears on the Argentinan $50 note.

Riccardo then took them to the last place of interest. A garden which was created on the roof of the exhibition centre. Here he explained the future of Buenos Aires, with the garden representing the progressive mindset and the direction they wish to move in, creating more open spaces and placing a importance on community.

Riccardo finally showed them the slums, iterating how the reform of the slum area was the focus of the government. They were developing those areas with new buildings, new schools and even creating open spaces for community. In the past the streets did not even have enough room for ambulances to enter resulting in many deaths. They are working to uplift this.
With this and perfect timing a homeless person came and joined the group, the tour was over, they paid the voluntary fee and dispersed.

It was 2 pm and they needed to rush to the orher Side of town back to the bar district (Palermo), this time for the graffiti walking tour. They had made some American friends and were lucky enough to share a taxi and make it to the tour 30 mintues before it started. The Palermo district was buzzing. Cafes, bars as well as a street market going on, which the Captain and Admiral spent the remaining time buying useless things that they didn’t need, before the graffiti tour started.
There was not much to the graffiti tour, the Captain and Admiral walked the streets with a tour guide that explained the importance of all the street art that littered the laneways. The expressionalism in the prices and the importance of the art plastered on the walls. The Buenos Aires government was pro wall art, encouraging artists to fill up the grey skyscraper walls with their art.

Totally graffitied out the duo couldn’t wait for the tour to end, heading back home to rest before heading out into town for the Saturday night adventures.

First up the duo hit a bar which the Admiral had found with wine Cocktails happy hour, however much to thier disappointment it turned out to be fake news. They then hit up another pub and since it was before 10pm, it was happy hour. They smashed down the first round of drinks, only to discover for one mojito and one craft beer the bill came down to $5.65 AUD. They did the calculation several times before confirming that the price was indeed correct in their second round. Even after happy hour ended the price went up to $8 for a cocktail and beer. The area was starting to get more and more busy, from being the only people in the bar drinking, the Captain and Admiral now started having company.

The Captain and Admiral were now flying high, as they crawled to a few more bars before being slightly responsible and pretty drunk and calling it a night, they knew that tomorrow they headed off to a new country.
Drunk, they stumbled to an American BBQ place that they had read about online. They were about to get their first taste of Argentinian meat. The Captain got the Ribs and Admiral the brisket. The Captain could safely say (possibly due to his drunk state) that these were the best ribs he had ever had. Falling off the bone and juicy, they were great.

Drunk and disorderly, they headed home, knowing that the time was only 12 and that the party had not even kicked off. They had to rush home and catch a ferry to Uruguay the next day.
Very hungover, after only 4 hours sleep, the Captain and Admiral took their bags checked out of the Palermo hotel, and headed to the other hotel in the district of Retiro, where they would staying at for the rest of their Argentina Adventure. It was only 5 am and they needed to drop off their bags and head to the docks.
Refer to log “Montevideo. Uruguay” for the remainder of the Uruguayan adventures.
They returned from Montevideo at 11.30pm and in a rush they walked back to the hotel. The Admiral was freaking out, that they wouldn’t get any food, she even at one point glared in hungry anger at the Captain.

Luckily within a few minutes they came across an Argentina stakehouse, the Cap got to live another day as a Freddy Mercury looking waiter came around with some super juicy and delicious Chicken.
The fourth day in Buenos Aires started with heavy rain. It was bucketing down and the forecast was that the rain was going to continue all day.
This meant a few of the plans they had made for the day had to change.

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The Captain and Admiral dropped off their laundry at a laundromat which had an Asian lady amongst thousands of clothes and dryers with a furnace powering it. Fire and Clothing everywhere, what could possibly go wrong.
To avoid the wetness they decided to stick to indoor activities and went to visit landmark The Teatro Colón
The Teatro Colón which was named after Christopher Columbus, is the main opera house in Buenos Aires, Argentina. It is considered one of the ten best opera houses in the world by National Geographic, and is acoustically considered to be amongst the five best concert venues in the world.

All the top Opera singers and ballets have visited it’s stages in the past.

Sitting in the mezzanine cafe, they waited for 2 hours before the English tour. It was beautiful. The duo walked inside and the grandeur, the royalty and the class just oozed out of every corner of the building. It was stunning. Dazzled and at times blinded by the gold they walked around admiring and appreciating a time long gone. At the end of the tour, the guide told them an interesting fact about the theatre previously when Pavarotti came to do the Opera at the Colon he said there was a big problem with the acoustics of the auditorium.

Every one went into dismay ‘how could this be possible, they had some of the best accoustics in the world’. Pavarotti later said it is because the acoustic are so good that he wouldn’t be able to make a mistake and get away with it. Everyone on the tour let out a sigh of relief and the tour ended.

The rain outside continued. The Captain and Admiral took a taxi and headed to one of the most beautiful bookshops in the world, Library splendid. This was an old theatre, much smaller than the Colon, that had been transformed into a multilevel bookshop. Much like the Colon, the Admiral and Captain were in awe of its splendour, they took a few photos and headed to San Temlo district to visit the San Telmo Markets.

This Market was interesting, it resembled a mintiture Queen Victoria Market. Only half of the market was open. What made this market unique was that it only contained antique shops. Some of these specialised in toys, camera, clothes etc. There even was a shop selling people’s family photos.

Despite this being an unsecussful shopping adventure, it was definitely a success in terms of food. Famous for its empanadas they found a little but busy Empanadas shop, here they shared a few of the most delicious Empanadas the Captain and Admiral had tasted in their entire South American adventure. After a few more stops along the market they headed back to the hotel, they had to get ready for dinner.

The Admiral had booked the ‘Argentina experience’ for dinner. Argentina experience is a unique restaurant in which they feed you as well as explained about the local cuisine, culture and life in Argentina.

A small and intimate group of people (20ish) are sat on a table together, the host then explains about the food and wine as well as the culture and traditions, then you get served. You also get chance to mingle with others on the table.

Instantly they made some friends with other Cadets who were also down for their honeymoon and were from London. They continued to chat as the dinner experience went on.

One of the first activities for the night was to create our own empanadas, they were taught how to make them, given stuffing and shown how to fold them. Some decent looking empanadas were made. After the first round, they were again given the ingredients and this time asked to make any shape or object with with empanadas ingredients. The brief was ‘the most creative and best looking empanada wins’. The Captain made a sunflower with a face on it, which in the end resembled the Admiral. The Admiral however took it to the next level and inspired by their visit to the Amazon made a toucan. It was mighty impressive, so impressive actually, that she won!! Creating the best and most creative Empanada, it was a proud moment for the Captain and Admiral.

The dinner continued, with delicious food, history and cultural lessons, fantastic banter and most important of all free flowing wine.

The dinner finished up with instructions on how to prepare and drink Yerba Mate, they were all passed a glass and drank the drink they had seen so many drink on the streets, in restaurants even in clubs and bars. The taste resembled a strong green tea. It was nice but at this point after one cup of the tea, the Captain was more interested in the wine before the time was up.

Dinner finished up and they said good-bye. But first they joined the London cadets for another round of drinks. They headed to a bar and socialised as they drank more, eventually calling it a night and heading home extremely drunk.

The previous night’s after party was causing many moments of regret. Both the Captain and Admiral woke up with headaches and feeling extremely hungover.

To fight the hangover and survive the day they went to a nice cafe and had some breakfast. This seemed to help slightly. Heads still aching they headed to the domestic airport and caught thier flight to Puerto Iguazu.

Refer to log “Puerto Iguazu. Argentina” for the remainder of the WaterFallen logs.

Returning from Puerto Iguazu the Captain had a fanboy moment, earlier in their pub crawling expeditions the Captain had seen “Heisenburger burger laboratory” . A burger restaurant themed on the TV show Breaking Bad. With burgers like ‘The Walter’ and ‘Chessie Pinkman’ it was any fanboy’s wet dream. The burger did the trick. It was pretty good and would make Tuco proud (Breaking Bad reference).

The Captain and Admiral so far had absolutely loved Buenos Aires, everything about it made them feel like it was a great place to visit and live. This was going to be the last full day they had to explore.

They started the day with breakfast and then headed to the Galileo Galilei conservatory.

On the way they experienced an environmental protest and a very angry uber driver, that was upset at the disruption and yelling to them about in Spanish.

The Captain wanted to channel his inner uber driver anger shortly after they arrived. It turned out that the conservatory was closed due to a IBM security summit. With the Admiral yanking him away, the Captain was visibly upset at the situation and was letting the security guard know by glaring at him.

Eventually being dragged away the Captain and Admiral explore the park life around them.

They crossed the road to see heaps of dogs running around. With a closer look they were not running, but rather tied to trees with long leashes, and a dog walker was looking out for them. As they walked along the saw many more of these and hundreds more dogs. The Captain went and played with some before walking away.

The parks were spectacular, super well manicured and looked after, they reminded them of botanical, located near the heart of the city, bustling with people jogging or just relaxing.

They walked down to the Polo stadium, walking post a line of bars, restaurants and ice cream shops all lined up along the side of the park, all built under an overhead train track. The area reminded them of Docklands (if docklands actualy was visited by people) it was awesome.

They checked out the Polo stadium, which was open to the public but had no event going on. It too like everything they had seen on their walk was impressive. The Admiral found a litter of cats and hung out with them as the Captain explored the grounds

To treat themselves they had booked in lunch at A restaurant/ Steakehouse called Don Julio. They wanted to book a dinner, but the restaurant was booked months in advance, they were extremely lucky to get a spot even for lunch. Rated the 21st best restaurant in Latin America, they arrived to be greeted with a complimentary glass of champagne.

They were given bread and seated, at this point the waiter popped over with the wine they had ordered. He poured a little and stared at the Captain. Not knowing what do in these situations, the Captain ran his memory bank to an Italian Mafia movie he had seen, he brought the wine up to his nose, smelt the wine and took a sip. Anticipating a response the waiter was frozen staring at him. Not knowing what to do the Captain just uttered ‘Si’ the waiter seemed satisfied, he started smiling and poured the rest and walked away. Phew.

The food came and it did not disappoint with the Admiral stating it was “The best steak she had ever had” she had only gotten through 3/4 of it and was breathing heavily and sweating.

Feeling extreme gluttony and full beyond measure they rolled towards Recoleta Cemetery for the walking tour.

Recoleta Cemetery is classified as the best, most beautiful and most important cemetery in the world. It has graves and monuments for many many famous people. They say that Napoleon’s niece is buried there but due to the list old records, no one knows where. It has over 4000 graves with over 100,000 people buried within the grounds. It is a very prestigious place to be buried. The spots in the graveyard are not open to public, however family members that have exsisting crypts can sell them on at exhuerant prices.

The tour took them to a few famous graves, including a monument designed by the same architect that designed central station. In New York.

The tour then took them to the grave of the “Lady in the White Dress” – Rufina Cambaceres and told her story, Rufina was 19 years old, celebrating her birthday, the year was 1902. At her birthday party someone informed her that her mother was sleeping with her boyfriend. Like anyone would, she got very upset and went to her room and locked herself in crying. Later on the family all came, and from outside they convinced her to come to the theatre with them. She agreed and said she will freshen up and be down. Some time passed and she didn’t come down, they knocked again no answer, they finally broke the door to find her dead in her bed.. they called a doctor immediately and he agreed she was not breathing. Aduneral was held and she was buried at Recoleta cemetary. That night the crypt keepers heard noises coming from her tomb and upon inspecting it saw that her casket had moved from its position somewhat. They assumed this may have been the work of burglars who intended to take jewellery from poor Rufina’s body. So they called the family to inform them and also since they were not allowed to disturb the tomb without the family there. Then family finally arrived and when they opened the tomb, there was scratch marks on the inside of the casket as well as all over rufinas face and neck with her finger nails bleeding, and a look of fear and shock on Rufina’s face. As it turns out she had been buried alive. They realised Rufina suffered from a medical ailments that caused her to stop breathing and go into a comatose state. She had suffered from this all her life. She must have cried so much that she couldn’t cope and it triggered this state. When the doctor checked she was in this state and they buried her. Since this horrific death they have changed the law, allowing for 48 hours, before they can close the casket.. just in case.

There was another story about Liliana Ceociati Szaszaki who died when an avalanche crushed her, skiing in Vienna, and on the same day her dog died, several thousands of kilometres away

Finally they visited the famous Eva Peron aka Evita. The tour guide explained that when she died 3 million people attended 2 week funeral and the country got 2 days off. Buenos Aires ran out of flowers for her grave. During the construction of her grave, which was to be a national monument there was a military coup. The new president stopped the project and got someone to ‘take care of’ (move out of the country) Evita’s body. Months later the President to follow up and ask what was done with her body, the guy said it’s right here in that box marked “communication equipment”, the guy put folded her body and put it a box that sat in the room. The body was then moved a few times again before coming to rest in Recoleta, amongst the aristocrats whom she fought her whole life.

After finishing the tour the Captain and Admiral headed home stopping at a Shopping centre where they had a super light veggie filled dinner and spontaneously bought tickets to Senor Tango!

Despite the 3am flight to El Calafate looming on their heads, they headed to the Tango show which was scheduled to start at 10.30 pm.

Arriving and entering at the theatre they were shocked at the size of the production. It looked like they had been transported back in time. The props and the sets were extravagant, the size of the theatre enough to seat 1500 people

After waiting a while and ordering the cheapest wine, which when checked online was actually $30 a bottle in Australia and rate 4.3 stars, the show started.

Nothing had prepared them for what happened next. Horses, Fire, people dangling from the roof. The lighting and sound was amazing and this was only the first 5 minutes. The show then progressed to manic leg movement! Bodies being thrown around, singing, and the most sensual and sexual dancing ever. Passion was igniting the air like the flames had done earlier. The Captain and Admiral were mesmerised and remained that way until the show was over. Looking away from the amazing hypnotizing tango only for a few seconds to discuss what they thought was going on.

The show finished and they made a mad dash back to the hotel, on the way discussing what they had witnessed, at the hotel they gave the dance a try, which resulted in the Captain getting kicked in the shins approximately 3 seconds into attempting it.

Dreaming of tango they had a quick nap and headed to the airport for their super early flight to El Calafate. Refer to log “El Calafate. Argentina” for the remainder of the Icy Cold logs.

They returned to Buenos Aires after a day of delays and constant waiting. Exhausted from the day of nothingness, as the universe’s way of messing with them, they were picked up by a very chatty cab driver. Once again they had no idea what they were talking about and the handy ‘Si’ at times attempting to shove thier mobile phone in his face with Google translate open. Turns out after 20 minutes of translating, he wanted the Captain and Admiral to visit his friend’s Venezuelan restaurant.

Hungry and not wanting to waste their last few hours in Buenos Aires they walked around grabbed some subway and Mostanza (a local food chain) for dinner and went hunting for the best ice cream in Buenos Aires. They arrived at Cadore. The shop did not look like much, but the skinny maroon storefront that sits within ground centre of Buenos Aires’ theater district on the historic Avenida Corrientes and serve the best dulce de leche in the world.

Their accolades are printed in National Geographic and the BBC and they are number 1 in the Gold Book of Argentine Ice Creams.

They got coconut, pistachio, chocolate and the famous dulce de leche flavour.

The ice cream was like none other they have had before. Super creamy, it had a stretchy consistency and was the best tasting ice cream they had ever had hands down.

Ice cream in hand the Captain and Admiral walked back to the hotel room reminiscing and discussing how much fun they had in Buenos Aires. They both had a sweet taste in their mouths and a sweeter spot in their hearts, Buenos Aires had been their favourite city in South America so far. They had loved every bit of the city, the shopping, the nightlife, the history, the parks and most of all the people.

Having seen the magnificence of the glaciers and thunder of waterfalls Argentina had stolen their hearts.

They vowed to return as they bid the country good-bye.

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Siem Reap. Cambodia

by Asia

Siem Reap. Cambodia

Siem Reap. Cambodia

The Holy city of Temples, Tuk-Tuk’s and Traveler troubles – Mad Floors and shiz.

Captains Log Day 8 – 22/03/17 10:55 pm. Malaysia Air MH146

The Captain was able to connect back into the grid just before his HCMC departure, lucky enough he did so as he was able to discover that he had received a last-minute email from the hotel that Admiral and he were staying at. The email advised them that the residence was over booked and despite my two-month advanced booking we were going to be moved to the sister hotel that was located 10 minutes away from the venue. This deeply upset both the Admiral and Captain, they had no option, with an angry email to the hotel, they confirmed that they had been shifted and that a carrier would be sent to pick them up at the Airport. However, upon landing there was no receiver waiting. Blood boiling to match the temperature outside, the Captain and Admiral took a TukTuk or remork to the updated hotel discussing remork life, and how we would sell our cars in Australia and just sponsor a remork driver to live with us and drive us around, despite the laughter they both knew that their Cambodian travels had begun on a rocky start.
At the new hotel, one could not get angry at the staff, it was not their fault, management had dealt the card to the Captain and the staff were only doing their job. Despite some initial tension, the staff escorted us to our room, they were apologetic in regards to the transport not being present and offered to compensate by offering complementary transportation on departure.

Although upset, the Admiral and Captain checked into the hotel and freshened up. They had organised a deal with the TukTuk driver to take them straight to the mighty Angkor Wat – The reason both the Captain and Admiral had decided to visit Cambodia. Geography Lesson #1: What is Angkor Wat? – “Angkor Wat is a temple complex in Cambodia and the largest religious monument in the world, with the site measuring 162.6 hectares (1,626,000 m2; 402 acres). It was originally constructed as a Hindu temple of god Vishnu for the Khmer Empire, gradually transforming into a Buddhist temple towards the end of the 12th century” – thanks Wikipedia.

A visit to Angkor Wat had been on the Captain’s bucket list for a significantly long time – He had dreamed of visiting the ruins ever since he had seen photographs and discovered in a year 8 quiz that it’s the largest Hindu temple in the world (not sure if his incorrect answer stemmed his desire or the sheer curiosity.)
Grabbing tickets, we were taken away from the city to visit the ruins, thus started our temple run. The hot sun blaring on our backs, sizzling our skin crispy, sweat creating puddles across our bodies we ventured out of the TukTuk. Walking through the gates of the Great Angkor Wat gave the captain goosebumps, the surreal feeling overwhelming. Hypnotized by the grandeur of the ruins we tread towards the entry. With barely any sales pitch we agreed to the first tour guide that approached us, after waiting his life the Captain had not had the patience to bargain or discuss price. The tour began, explaining the history of the king and the kingdom that built this temple, the wars that were fought over it and the transition of it from a Hindu temple to Buddhist. We walked around half engaged, our minds just marveling at the greatness of the ruins. Photos don’t do this justice. The Captain and Admiral got blessed and their futures told by a Buddhist monk and shortly after the tour ended. This is where one of the favorite parts of the tour for the Captain commenced. Free Roam. We were allowed to walk around the temple, explore the giant grounds, climb, run, walk, anything. It was great – the Captain gave the Admiral a heart attack when he walked on the ledge of the third storey of the temple. The heat starting to play games on their minds, the Admiral was pointing out a structure to the Captain, to which the heat stroked Captain responded “Yeah, Mad Floors and Shit” – not knowing what he was saying. The Admiral pointed out his poetic comment, meaning it was time for the delusional captain to farewell the temple grounds. Walking back to the TukTuk was a mission. The 400-meter path felt like kilometers in the dessert being crossed by Bedouins. Struggling and finally reaching the TukTuk we stopped for some cold refreshments before continuing our temple run.
We then visited two other major temples and spent time exploring, the first was Bayon temple. The Bayon’s most distinctive feature is the multitude of serene and smiling stone faces on the many towers which jut out from the upper terrace and cluster around its central peak – once again this temple was huge. We walked the grounds posing for photos and trying to soak in the glory. After losing the TukTuk driver and doing a round of the perimeter, we finally got in the TukTuk for our third and final temple – Ta Phrom. unlike the other Angkorian temples, Ta Prohm was in much the same condition in which it was found: the photogenic and atmospheric combination of trees growing out of the ruins and the jungle surroundings. Trees and overgrowth over time had caused this ancient temple to collapse, although restoration works are underway the charm of this beast was the large collapsed rocks and the caved in rooms with roots weaving their way through them. Once again the wonder could not be captured, and if photos say a thousand words, being there and experiencing will write you novels. Temple’d out, we headed back to our hotel for some rest, the lack of sleep the night before, the scorching temperatures had the life of us drained.

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Refreshed after a nap and shower, it was time for the Captain to enter his element as they got ready to hit up the famous Siem Reap Pub street for a night on the town. The street was full of activity, life, street traders, shops, music bars, the likes of which can only be compared to places like Khoa Sao road in Thailand, or a Portuguese Pub Crawl on NYE. Starving, the Captain thought it was best to get a drink in our systems before we ate, seemed logical right? There it was, Angkor What? Bar, a tourist landmark, famous for its writing on the walls, this place had seen millions of tourists over the years, it glistened on every travel guide. We stopped for a sneaky drink before we started our quest to try and find some burgers (craving) to eat. It seemed like forever before we found some food – mainly because the Captain was interested in exploring although the Admiral had different ideas which were showing (HUNGRY).
Bellies full we headed to some shops and some more exploring to burn off some of the carbs, it was at this point the Captain started getting restless as all the night owls came out to play. Finishing up with Shopping we headed straight back to Angkor What? Where a challenge tickled the fancy of the Captain, A deal that said if you get two alcoholic buckets you get a free tee-shirt. To test our limits however we ordered one bucket to start – a measly 6 x 50 ML shot – first up was a Moscow Mule. We shared this giant vessel of euphoric liquid and made friends with the amazing waiter @say – he had some great conversation with us and taught he Admiral some very cool bar tricks. One bucket in and that Tee-shirt was looking more achievable.

We ordered a second and asked our new friend @ say if we could get a tee- he pulled some strings and the mission was semi accomplished – the side effects sat on the table in front of us – a Vodka Mojito. We sipped on our oversized beverage and in the true spirt of the bar left a scripture on the table, this one a quote from the mighty Co-Captain @avrill “Never Say No! Mort!”.

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At this point to our realisation the club opposite to us – Temple Club, had filled up, dancing had commenced on the streets, we watched as the toxins took control of inhibition. As the mighty vessel reached the final drops, we ordered two more cocktails, of a much more reasonable size this time, although the Long Island Ice tea felt like it had much more concentration of alcohol.Feeling ill and the music taking control we headed across the road for a boogie, shortly inside the Admiral and Captains thoughts synchronized to “we are too old for this” leaving promptly we headed to Yolo Bar. Here things were going mental, the crowd in polar opposite to where we had been, A Backpacker hub, where people were dancing on the streets and madness was everywhere. Quickly the two were able to join the madness, it seemed that Mr Mule and Mrs Mojito had led us over the sanity fence and unwillingly we rushed to the other side. Dancing, singing with the others time began to fly and memories start to fade, at some point the Captain found himself at the bar with a tourist who bought him a Jagerbomb, the Captain obliged and out of respect downed the shot. Later in the night a person came over with a Barbequed Snake on a stick, laughing and dancing he took a bite and passed it to the Captain, confused, time slowed down as he took a fairly large chunk off the stick and started chewing. The taste was disgusting, the scales littered his mouth, the chewing didn’t seem to end as it was like eating rubber with a distinct taste, cringing he passed the stick to the Admiral. The look on the face of the Admiral said it all – HELL NO! after some drunk banter and some convincing she took a tiny bite, chewing twice before spitting it out. almost vomiting we rushed her to the bar and ordered two Jagerbombs to wash the taste down, gagging as the warm Jager went down. Stumbling we left Yolo bar, and since it was too early to go home and wanted the snake magic to kick in we decided to head back for a final cocktail at Angkor What? again – bad idea. More Cocktails ordered – the Admiral had an Arm Wrestle with another tourist from Netherlands, the Captain made friends with Divers from Wales, the words came out as a slur. It was time to call it a night and head back to the Hotel.

The time was 3 am and with the insistent TutTuk drivers and an inkling that we may get sick – we decided to walk back to the hotel. This was a bad decision.
As we walked we saw some of our friends, they walked with us for a bit until they turned off and we continued through a dark laneway to our hotel. We were only 5 minutes from the Hotel where a man on a scooter approached the admiral on a motorbike slowed down and asked “would you like a lift?”, she responded “No No” at this point he snatched her Purse, yanking it, breaking her straps and riding off. The Admiral yelled “Hay!!” the Captain was off, Chasing the bike, without knowing what happened screaming at the top of his lungs “OI, OI!!” too late, he sped off and turned the corner, the Admirals bag was gone. The contents included cash, her cards, her phone. We both praised the lords and the powers that be that her Passport was sitting at the hotel and was SAFE.
Distressed we ran to the Hotel where reception called the police and advised us that we need to go to the tourist police station in the morning when it opened. Defeated, drunk and stressed the Admiral spent the next two hours calling the banks and cancelling her cards, whilst at some point the Captain passed out.

Opening his eyes, the pain unbearable the Captain reached out for his medication, the last night’s toxins were in his system and his head felt like there was a jack hammer pounding inside. This was no ordinary hangover, he could feel the onset of a migraine creeping. Looking over he saw the Admiral passed out on the laptop. Taking his pills, he closed his eyes and slept once again. His eyes opened again as the clock hit 2 PM – he got up and woke the admiral who was ready to go, getting dressed quickly the duo left the hotel and rushed to the police to report the incident the night before. The Tourist police had us document our statement and then referred us on to the large tourist police station the other end of town, taking a TukTuk we rushed there as the clock creeped towards 5pm.
The tourist police station was a very traumatic experience. At first we were harassed as to why we didn’t come earlier (migraine) and then the conversation turned to why the Admiral did not fall over when her bag was snatched, the tone and constant implication that we were lying getting the better of us when we had an outburst and reached out to call the Embassy. We were encouraged to do so by the police, saying we are only doing our job, and that is what we will tell the embassy. However, we were told none of the phones had any credit – The Captain pointed out “but this is a police station?!” – my observation was acknowledged but no still the officers had no credit. We gave up, and continued our attempt to get a police report made.
The police explained how this was now a criminal case, they needed to contact local police and they, needed to have proof in order to make and release a police report. They need evidence that we were robbed and since our incident happened with no one around and no cameras this was going to be hard to prove. Deeply upset and defeated we documented our timings for the night, wrote down the incidents that happened and answered all their questions. Interrogation went on for 2 hours and at the end we were defeated. They did not release the police report and said they would be back tomorrow to the hotel to investigate. At this point we had very unexpected assistance from one police officer, however no report.
With no other options left we thanked the police officer that tried to help and headed back to town, hoping shopping will get our mind off things. It temporarily did. It was then time to visit the nicest restaurant in town, and one of the top restaurants in Asia – Cuisine Wat Damnak. This was a highly-regarded restaurant in Siem Reap celeb chef Joannes Riviere. The menu delivered the ultimate contemporary Khmer dining experience. This was fancy, the flavours and textures indescribable, fine dining at its best. The Chef Joannes, heard of our troubles the night before and was nice enough to come over and have a chat about the incident, he was charming and a very nice man. We both felt humbled, our hearts felt a little comfort in this unknown city. A last round of shopping and fulfilling the Captain’s Indian food craving at d’Tandoor, we headed back to stuff pack our bags and complete our final night in Siem Reap.
The adventure was almost over, as the Captain and Admiral parted ways, the former off back to base and the latter flying to Singapore to continue her adventure. The Captain was fortunate to have the business class experience during his flight stopping in KL and hitting up the b lounge for a shower and a casual 4 vodka sodas and few snacks.
Landing in the best city in the world, he was home. Arriving at 9:30am the captain was at work by 10:30am he reflected on his journey, his adventure overseas was over, he had survived another trip. He returned home with a few more notches on his belt and some scars to show for his travels. The Captain was ready and looking forward to his next adventure but at the moment he was running late to a meeting. He entered the room and said sampeah.

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